In The Moonlight

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Waiting for you the whole day,
You come up at night as i pray.

In the darkness you spread the light
As Allah say

You wake me up the whole night,
as outside my window you stay.

But as the sun comes out, you hide in the brightness.
On the bed of brightness you just lay.

You want to touch me
and you may.

As you are mine my bright moon,
In the stars spray.




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Gender Female
Points 1125
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Hey Samarah!

First of all welcome to the site.

The starting of the poem was nice compared to the rest of it.

From the third para the poem was confusing to the reader.
Go through the poem once again and try to improve it.
I would advice you to rewrite it and express it more clearly.
In all good try!

Keep writing and posting it in here.
Best wishes.
-Anii.
"A good plot is like a dream.If you dont write down your dream on paper the moment you wake up,the chances are you'll forget it and it'll be gone forever"-Roald Dalh.




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Points 1040
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Welcome to the site. I like you poem's theme. you should work on using some more "I" verbs maybe,

keep writing =) happy reading(=
~Everyone~

=) *wave*




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Gender Male
Points 1175
Reviews 185
It's not bad for a first poem. Mine wasn't that good either. though I did like how you spoke of something with a meaning to yourself. Poetry is inspired by your life. Keep trying.
I will always fight back, no matter what.



Now I realize that there is no righteous path, it’s just people trying to do their best in a world where it is far too easy to do your worst.
— Castiel