hands that smell of coffee and tobacco

nail polish remover that smells like cherries
which i no longer use and a
black nail polish that's dried in its case
i used to use nearly every day
because you liked how it looked on my fists
im putting myself back together
from the fall air sticks and leaves
a bit more cinnamon and spice
in my veins than the boy you met
you bled me dry and i have to replace
it with something ink perhaps coffee
stained nailbeds and spite
my hands smell like ciggeretes
but they dont smell like lies
and they dont smell like you

[insert inspirational quote here]

Quote

fatherfig

Gender

Points 125

Reviews 111

Mon Oct 12, 2026 9:51 am

fatherfig says... · Mon Oct 12, 2026 9:51 am

i think sometimes about how
you preferred me pretty
ive never truly been pretty
always ink stained and bedraggled
bitten nails and a chipped tooth
with eyelashes a bit sparse

but you seemed to think i looked better
in fake smiles and overgrown hair
and lipgloss that helped you feel like
i held some sort of feminity
peculiarly you liked me most of all
when i was least of all me

did you dislike the absence
of flowers and the presence
of incense or did something about
the blood on my fingers
and the pen cap between my teeth
lead you to seek better things
i suppose thats how it goes

i think i prefer being a mess
than pretending to be polished
for someone who never polished in turn
you needed me to be someone i wasn't
and i only needed myself in the end

worn paper and ink have seen me grow &
a sketchbook will always last me longer than
conditional love the paper smells sweeter
the air crisper the leaves are crunchier

hello October
don't say goodbye so quickly
this is when i remember
who i am

[insert inspirational quote here]

Quote

fatherfig

Gender

Points 125

Reviews 111

Tue Oct 13, 2026 2:10 am

fatherfig says... · Tue Oct 13, 2026 2:10 am

cough syrup and chocolate in my coffee
vitamin c supplements and allergy meds
this season is heating pads and locusts
burrs in coattails and cattails bursting
their cotton middles across ponds
around now the bugs will bed down
die off and return in the spring
around now the depression is coming on
and around now i love every little thing
because the air smells like spices
and sycamore trees the pine needles
taste like new beginnings and
the wood sorrel is good in my tea

[insert inspirational quote here]

Quote

fatherfig

Gender

Points 125

Reviews 111

Tue Oct 13, 2026 2:25 am

fatherfig says... · Tue Oct 13, 2026 2:25 am

i miss my persimmon tree today
the taste of ambience; abundance
among every ordinary thing

someone cut it down
what an ugly thing to do

it was patient old and
every year it bore fruits
weighing its branches down
with hexagonal woody tops

i don't think i was ever meant
to know what a persimmon was
im nearly sure they don't grow here

they are my favorite fruit
i think of them in October
like a secret

im not sure i'll ever
taste a ripe one again
but nine-year-old fig remembers

[insert inspirational quote here]

Quote

fatherfig

Gender

Points 125

Reviews 111

Tue Oct 13, 2026 2:36 am

fatherfig says... · Tue Oct 13, 2026 2:36 am

bring me that patience for every season after
and the cool temperament of today
smoke curls off my fingers
and settles in my chest
i lose part of my youth every year
"coping is okay, we can fix it"
he whispers and i nod and
crush a leaf under my boot

[insert inspirational quote here]

Quote

AlexWrites

Gender

Points 50823

Reviews 258

Tue Oct 13, 2026 3:22 am

AlexWrites says... · Tue Oct 13, 2026 3:22 am

Spoiler

I love me an after NaPo thread! Sorry that you couldn't join us while it was happening, but I'm proud of you for not letting that get in the way for doing it for yourself <3

The earlier theme of a former relationship, as the narrator rediscovers themself himself- is very empowering. They realise the lover only saw a version in them which they liked, not who the narrator truly was. As they leave behind the long hair and nail polish, it's like they're reclaiming their life and really moving on from other's expectations. It sends across such a beautiful message- never change yourself for anyone!

a bit more cinnamon and spice
in my veins than the boy you met

but they dont smell like lies
and they dont smell like you

Sassy, classy and aesthetic!!

i held some sort of feminity
peculiarly you liked me most of all
when i was least of all me

Shattering..

you needed me to be someone i wasn't
and i only needed myself in the end

Perfectly phrased!

hello October
don't say goodbye so quickly
this is when i remember
who i am

A yearning for identity- I stan this!!

The latter half where it's simply about why the narrator is so fond of autumn is very captivating to read too.

i think of them in October
like a secret

Poetic!

around now the depression is coming on
and around now i love every little thing

Love how this seems contradictory, but sounds rhythmic and complement each other well.

im not sure i'll ever
taste a ripe one again
but nine-year-old fig remembers

Invokes strong nostalgia

Quote

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