To the boy who will never love me and I don't mind

Well, the useal I guess Brad, well done descriptions etc. For some reason I didn't like the 2 line structure and the way you cut off the sentences in order to put them in the other stanza, well maybe that's the reason you posted this in "Other Poetry"

You explain your affection really well

and all I knew was your walk, the way
your legs spread far apart, how your

This really grabbed my attention

of your mind? I used to talk to you
from inside my frame. Tonight,

there’s a tall blonde shuffling
your window blinds, the light inside

sliding back and forth like a discotheque.
She doesn’t know two days ago I peeled out

and smeared my legs to your temples;
doesn’t know that you stopped speeding

out the neighborhood; doesn’t know
you shut the lights down so I wouldn’t see.

As for the closure well, I have no complaints, but as I said before about lines It would be clearer if you moved "Tonight" to the other stanza

Cheerios, Chandni

I liked it I can't critique poetry at all, and I don't really have anything to pick apart either, because it was so darn good!

...how your

left shoulder seemed heavier than the right,
as if your heart outweighed your ribs;

I liked this part the most.

I wish I could write poetry... I think I'm going to try and learn how to write poetry Good poetry is inspiring me! But I am horrible at it; you, on the other hand, are excellent.

Incandescence,
I think you are the best writer on this site. The poems I read in my Norton Anthology Of Poetry are about how 'anyone lived in a pretty how town...', ''My love is like a red, red rose...', ' so much depends upon a red wheelbarrow...' etc. Maybe you could try to focus more on your ideas than your feelings. Please don't hate me. -London

Nice poem I enjoyed it, very descriptive as if like a stalker in detailed perception.

Congradulations

Keep writing and =) happy reading (=

...the light inside

sliding back and forth like a discotheque.

I looked up discotheque. So it's a fancy word for a disco nightclub? I would think that the light would slide back and forth like IN a discotheque, but of course, this is poetry and you don't have to do that. Discotheque is a lovely, intelligent-sounding word, but I felt that it really didn't have a purpose in that sentence other than to sound smart.

Nice poem - took me several reads to fully digest it.

Happy Chanukah from your friendly neighborhood ex-Christian atheist,
Colleen