Let me be in dark alone

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Gender Female
Points 890
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Sitting alone here in the dark
Drenched in pain
I think of life
Its all a game
Of win and lose
Of breaking through
Its all fake
Just a game
All I feel
Is so unreal
All I do
Is so untrue
If this is what life is about
Then let me be in dark alone
Alone to cry out all the tears
Alone to scream the silent wish
Alone to scare all the fears
Alone to be in my own bliss
(Chorus)

Yesterday has gone
But still remains
Memories still linger
Giving me pains
Soul and Heart
Drifting apart
Burning to ashes
Dying at last
Walking on a desert
With a parched tongue
Fading, failing , disappearing
In midst of life
I feel so hung
Agony, that I am going through
Would you ever be able to understand?
Pain that I am suffering from
Only darkness holds my hand

(Chorus)




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Gender Female
Points 1040
Reviews 411
this poem rocks! really well versed with so simple slines!!
Calvin : You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood.
Hobbes : What mood is that?
Calvin : Last-minute panic.




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Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 36
Very nice!!! I don't know if I'll be able to critisize anything in this poem... GAH!!! Can't...find....anythin to say bad things about! Oh, wait, I found something, although it really is teeny tiny...
Giving me pains

I think that it would sound a little better if you took the "s" of the end, making pains pain. Also, the ryhming in the second stanza was a little forced. Besides that, this poem is perfect!

p.s. The title is a little long...
If you are a dreamer, come in. If you are a wisher, a lier, a magic bean buyer. If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire, For we have some flax-golden tales to spin Come In! Come In!~Shel Silverstein



A wizard is never late. Nor is he early; he arrives precisely when he means to.
— Gandalf