cloudy sunrises painted with billowing birdsong

Spoiler

@alliyah thank you so much!!

~ april 8th ~

13. rotting infinitely

we have seen this face before.
but here it is back,
clawing its way like an undead corpse.
its hideous face baring teeth,
remaining on this earth
like eroded rock.
back then, it was all the beauty,
back then, it was all we had.

its skin is decaying like drowned grass,
and yet it stays,
the stench filling our lungs.
we wonder
why we let it rot under our noses,
and give it space and power on earth.

perhaps it never died.
maybe it was an acrid part of us that
we never rid of.

~ april 8th ~

14. you are here

here we have set the stage.
it is tranquil, and it is calm.
the angle of this roof fits
perfectly with the blue sky.
the clouds are lightly brushed,
the color of the house are like
the flowers that spring in dirt,
beautiful and simply perfect.

here you are
welcome.
to love, and to live,
and to care not about
whatever stresses you have
invented
like scraps of paper knives.
you will find something here,
or at least,
you will find some
form of
bliss.

[maybe i will

where the grass is
so

i will never want to leave.
maybe i will


in my hands,
in my smile,
or something that will help me

maybe the clouds and the blankets
are so soft

and leave me under
this beautifully
bright sky.]

~ april 9th ~

15. the chemical (part 2 of the chemist from NaPo 2024)

i am not
pure substance.
i am not
a natural fluid.
i am chemically combined,
the bonds of differing elements,
borrowed, stolen, put on like a mask,
and simply
a mixture of matter.

you have seen my parts
in my surroundings,
in those i take in,
in those i feed off of.
i have taken it in,
like smoke into lungs,
or floral scent into noses.

it is synthetic,
created by
energy and the collection
of earthly material.
perhaps so-called
"uniqueness"
is born somewhere else.

but this smell is foul.
it is acidic and cruel,
covering up some gentle reverie,
some sweetness that is
truly mine.

a chemical does not bleed.
nor does it leave this earth-
i will linger.

~ april 10th ~

16. requiem

winced eyes in the mirror,
and spiteful long sighs,
i have always hated you.

you have been here all my life,
making yourself known like a ghoulish apparition,
and i always reeled at your pallid face.
when you were young,
i blamed you,
when you were weak,
i scorned you.
i do not know
whether it was ever your fault because

you have always been wrong
i have always been wrong.
i tried to pull us from the sap
as if we were ostracized.
you were grieving it all
in real time,
pulling apart our gashes.

so i have never trusted you.
i made it seem like
you were screaming a banshee's melody,
whispering the devil's tongue.
maybe you were innocent,
a drowning flower wanting to bloom.
it did not matter to me.
you were always
a phantom
in my line for
sacrifice.

so i have killed you.
your blood has drained
into the soil,
and i will kneel
by my own gravestone.

~ april 11th ~

17. this will be your undoing

this.
this will be your undoing, she says.
i see where your eyes are deep enough
to drown even the sun.

shed it.
somewhere, shrug it off like dead skin,
or regurgitate it and spit it out,
but leave it behind somehow.

some day, you will have to unravel,
she says,
like a tightly bound knot loosening,
you will explode in a heap of flame,
or melt like the slippery candle.
either way, you will gouge out
your( )self.

i do not want to die.
-not the kind of death
where your body no longer deserves oxygen-
but the kind of death
where a part of your heart
drops out like a ripe apple.
i will be afraid.

that.
that will be my undoing.
i see it from my eyes,
like that spot in the distance where
the sea touches the sky.
that death before death,
where i rot in the grass like an ugly peach,
for only a piece of me.

so i merely peel the apple,
and do not dare
drop the fruit.

~ april 11th ~ (I PROMISE I wrote this yesterday I just didn't post it on time)

Note: These were haikus I wrote when I went on a hike to see a waterfall

18. the return

skies clear, trees barren
white water leaps over rock,
gushing down to home

moss sealing stone steps
distant pound; rushing water
cold air; spring laments

~ april 12th ~

19. clouds unmoored

you only see
the clouds (drawn with white ink, i wish)
moving

when you are.
(glued to the ground, stable)
still.

yet i
gaze up
(eyes like lost stars, twinkling)
while in a car-

searching
(impatience, yearning)
for that movement

that will not come.

~ april 13th ~

20. if i told you (that is definitely not a lyric from wedding singer what)

your smile like the
sun streaming through brief cloud wisps
i, healed in short time

~ april 14th ~

21. oblivion

(pace yourself
when you drift your feet across the
gleaming, shiny floor,
fluttering like an angel's wings,
bobbing like along a gentle pond,
you are
dancing;)

to forget.

(pull your voice out from your throat,
your tongue a carpet,
your melodious strings of song
threading through solid and not,
impenetrable,
you are
singing;)

to
forget.

(and when you draw out your brush,
when you weave in and out
a tapestry,
when you fill the room
with echoes of tender hilarity,)
forget you will.
(let not a whisper
tug your ear;)
forget you will.
(let not that
quick breeze,
that tiny knot,
or
that splatter of ink
taint that
melody.

listen, and)

forget.

~ april 16th ~ (making up for april 15th)

22. deliberation

i am constant
in my state of
flowing through a stream of thought.

my hand
will not act
farther than my heart,
not farther than

that line you cross
when they scowl and fume.
i do not wish to be
afflicted in bitterness.

this all makes sense because
i feel this way.
yes,
that is wrong.
maybe i well at the eyes
far too often.

or maybe i am cautious enough
to tread above the leaping flames
and remain untouched.

~ april 16th ~

23. pale blue sky

your iambic heartbeat under the pale blue sky,
i love you like the spring grass loves the breath
of air and sunshine.
you carry me
into the sky without any wings.

i still fear those bitter whispers
of us,
and i am as cowardly
as the spring insect,
bolting speed at the flinch of a human.

but you are like
the pillow we imagine clouds to be.
i tell you
your hair cascades like a willow tree;
i want to be enveloped by your shelter
as the rain pours.

love is so softening
and so strengthening.
i will remain
bound to you,
until i am wise enough to distinguish
ember and charcoal.

~ april 17th ~

24. diagnosis

~ april 18th ~

25. practicing lines

soft eyes: summer skies
mingling laughs, catching breath
dreaming of comfort

~ april 19th ~

26. pottery

fragile, i shatter
break into dried clay, fracture,
return to earth form.