is nothing sacred? i yell at disproportionate volume as a car makes a meer opposum of me what is this an ER for ants? it has to be at least ten times this size! i wheeze in the ambulance and the line goes flat just like me even when i was alive haha!
if you don't laugh tsk well tough crowd stand up comedy it gets difficult to stand up when you're 6ft underground if you don't laugh you'll cry c'mon what is this a funeral lighten up
i want cake at my funeral a really big one and the funeral home to advertise very loudly there will be food so people i don't know show up to eat and everyone thinks i was really popular or wonders how i know a family of crackheads i want complete strangers to awkwardly come up and stare at my reorganized corpse and be like thanks for the food champ dap me up and leave to horrify my family that would be great
and its not my funeral unless they play the rickroll song on full volume throughout the entire affair and tie me to a pulley system so I dance macabre macabre macabre shut up its not your funeral dude let the dead guy have the last laugh
Last edited by fatherfig on Wed Apr 02, 2025 1:05 am, edited 1 time in total.
in this poem thread i will be using intentionally dark untasteful and unsightly humor in relationship with death and if you aren't prepared for that this isn't a good thread for you- meant entirely with love <3
this thread will joke about dark topics that aren't laughing matters in an ironic/sardonic manner
my skeleton has a hangnail ahaha do you think that's possible technically horns are both nails and bones so are nails bones will they stay they turn to slime when we deglove don't look that up ahhh my bad
the temptation was there so you probably did or you already saw at some point either way im sorry
we are like raccoons im that old meme that was horrible you try it
but we do it with drugs and fast cars and toxic relationships and having children and glorifying insanity like its somehow freeing when you just want to pluck out your own eyeballs and choke the president to death on one of them and use the other in a pinball machine and everyone's like god no dont say that don't do that thats not normal
gee not normal who would've thought when a neurodivergent person is stressed because a nazi is twerking on tables in the white house while a tech billionaire that refused to fund a movement to stop world hunger with his limitless pockets amd instead made a car that looks like an altoid box and uses the electric power of an entire small town watches and heils at him because aren't they just quirky wouldn't be normal about things how extremist that i am so discontent my bad maybe Hitler wasn't such a bad guy right there were a lot of people who had nothing bad to say about him these people weren't gay or jewish or dark skinned these people weren't being 'ethically relocated into camps' these people weren't 'criminals under the wartime law' so obviously since they were the majority everything was just normal and fine and quirky and who are you kidding pacify pacify shut the fuck up and look around hahahahaha i don't know if I'll be allowed to be alive in america tomorrow because of who i find personally attractive because of how i look and talk and dress because of how i think maybe I'll be a criminal under law maybe I'll be blamed for crashing an airplane into an occupied building though I've never drove a plane and have no affiliation because a million hateful people will see i was gay and trans and find that enough of a reason to make me guilty just like millions of people rationalize brown people as crime lords so i hope when im gassed to death i have both middle fingers up that might be the only resistance they get
i am septic blood in a womb not enough of a problem to remove until i might stand a chance of killing the fetus thats already dead and i've already killed the mother i am a toxic pregnancy
because the human i've become his life isn't worth preserving he believes in saving victims not blaming or punishing them with a sentence they never asked for that babies created out of violence are parasitic to the mother
now if carried by a surrogate a willing labourer of this experience who will be governmentally funded because well they care so much about the subject that would be a healthy solution but who likes women's health
that would take a healthy respect for mental health and women's rights to organize so this government could never accomplish it wishful thinking really bitter comedy it is offering real solutions to politicians
they'd rather scream hate and butcher communities with generalizations on tv than actually change a damn thing unless it directly benifits them and since these things operate by bloodlines why would any politician with a penis support women what a silly thought
populations seperated by hate are much easier to control so please do continue to be opinionated about things that should simply be human rights decided with dignity to both mother and fetus
fuck you if you think she should not have a choice in being a vessel of violence and i hope you have time to rethink your hypocritical and worthless ideology before you yourself reap what you sew
was it already in my bones this corruption of which you speak that positions me under your ladder in your societal view less than a dog and twice as useless twice as easy to kick
when i was a child it was much easier for you i was your trainee your unhousebroken animal i was dodging punches and glass shrapnel pushed to the ground as you hit the wall overhead
you hated when i flinched away you hated when i fought back you hated when i talked you hated when i was somber silence
but you loved when you were in control so i became your trophy son and pretended pretended to be a perfect silent daughter i bent to your words and became just loud enough
right before i broke away that night in the kitchen when i made casserole and before it was done you hit me chased me out into the living room and threw me to the ground and i got back up every time you hit me screaming
i yelled until you didn't knock me down again i got in your face the way youve done mine a thousand times and i barked like the dog you made me i bit your feeding hands until they were bleeding
and you learned not to touch this heathen you hated me for using my hoarse voice and i laughed until i cried that i should've done it sooner and i felt like a weak pathetic thing and i felt strong
you're a weapon not my family a loaded gun to all around you and when you hit the ground and go off i catch all the bullets in my ribs
so no one else gets hit because thats what I've learned how to be a shield for little dogs like me
you taught me this everything has a cycle don't cry over dead things chickens, more important than people tie plants to stilts with soft strings eat fresh tomatoes hit kids that dont understand things please plant some cherries so you'll always have nice things
you taught me this dont play the victim in your traumatic memories i was a five year old delinquent you were only doing good for me dont be the hero good people ignore bad scenes clean with salt and vinegar tobacco removes bee stings eat honey suckle nectar blame everything on me
you taught me this if you cry you are a weakling bang rocks together to scare bears away blackberries should be eaten water hose sprays dirt away school houses bring sickness you should clear the dishes away stay silent when you feel betrayed don't bring up little complaints blood beads to heal you it'll go away eventually
you remind me of why i could never be a father when the pain seems hopeless i look away apathy i was never one to understand sickness your soft brown eyes water fur shiny vomit in the corner of your mouth and i i call out to Freya help me weave a thread in time put a stitch of permanence in this innocents life but the agony i see makes me look away no i cannot help you it hurts to see you like this i've never understood sickness but this time i wish i knew the answers so i could pet your fur and look you in the muzzle as you sit in my lap while i do mundane things in the evening your soft breath is laboured and my mind is heavy your sure step has faltered but i will remember you i will remember you happy
deep in my chest you are laughing happy as i open teary eyes you are somewhere over my shoulder and under my fingernails i bite them off to try to pull you out of me but i cant remove them entirely and you are still there i used to bleach my hands with hand sanitizer until they dried out and cracked open my own blood on my fingers and my skin pulled taut like freezer burnt plastic white with chemicals that couldn't make me feel clean
how was it to leave his orbit how was it to make me the new pluto i am not a planet no matter how hard i try i do not look like them or take up enough space i hope you enjoyed your freedom i'll always feel out of place
my emotions kiss me and they feel like a torrential ocean with waves so big they become a tsunami not sweeping me along at the surface but instead the waves center of mass pounding down on me crushing my bones into sand where i stand burying me deeply in the earth before dragging it forward in a harsh current with my broken corpse inside
iamnotenoughiamnotenough these are my deep breaths icantmakethisupicantkeepfriends relax lean back let the silence kill you iwasneverlovedicantsurvivechange it's alright everything will stay the same imtoblameimtoblameimtoblame
hi i want to die refer me to a help line i cry you ask me why i say my minds not right and then you ask a million questions about my middle name my birthday my home state you ask about my parents and my address before you ask me when i last ate and i multiply and divide the things you say in my distorted mind even to you im a number in a system you're trying to compute but you just wanna help right here to dissuade me from crushing my fate with my lack of faith and i pretend im alright i was joking i changed my mind i still feel it welling inside my entire body telling me to die but i just wanna be alright shut my computer and say goodnight
bounce me like a ball off the wall on the walk drag my body down the hall leaving residue like chalk as you walk you care you really do why am i not like you i'm always in a mood it's true unpleasantness it's my default to brood uncaring and quite rude unintentionally making people disapprove at this point it's just what i do a true calling honesty is my policy and i'm not very shrewd terrible for telling people when they're screwed my jokes are often cued by verbal inconsistencies in pronunciation or definition because i might just be more of a dictionary than i am a man a thesaurus of special interests and words read long ago when i still had an attention span and now i'm always on autopilot like a robot champ i spit words out in person loquaciously as though everyone in the world knows what bodacious means a middle school reading level scholar an intellectual passed all my highschool english classes with honors and now it seems i've been deemed to not speak the same language as commoners i've got most of the same complexities of a human but apparently none of the same indicators in short my exaltations are my faults i was never taught being smart meant being forgotten but here we are
my memories of youth are dim distant i can't seem to keep them from slipping but i know your display cabinet holds colorful bottles of bitter liquid instead of antiquated dishes your bathroom is full of razors and dark colors instead of ceramic fishes your voice holds anger and hope and i could never tell the difference your fist leaves holes in the walls it would only take plaster to fix it but you always left it dented my mother was a woman who was afflicted when she slept i can remember her face she looked pessimistic her dreams pushed her into addiction and then i was a problem i was an addition you didn't understand no wanted a kid violence only changes its pace or victim its funny its sad you've never changed they say craziness is in staying the same you expect me to stay but push me away you want me to take blame do as directed i want to find my lane and be unaffected you drag my peace asking me questions about life later on in painted lenses where you've obscured all your wrongs all the pain you've inflicted why is your baby so full of hatred when i remember my face hitting the wall i can still taste it in my mind i still feel your work boot in my ribs is that how you treat a kid? is that how you treat a kid! you're sober now some say it's over now i sometimes wish you still had alcohol so there would be something to blame it on you are or you aren't ashamed can't rewind time
but you can wind your fist back so hit me again yell again pay me to care
maybe i used to but never again
these liquor cabinets and suppressed memories from when i was just a kid just a little kid
