words recycled like radio songs

(songs quoted in order: The Bangles “Manic Monday”, Miley Cyrus “End of the World” (which I am seriously addicted to like I’ve probably listened to it 100 times today, but it sounds a freaking lot like “Manic Monday”) Lady Gaga “Alejandro”, Lady Gaga “Don’t Call Tonight” (yeah I’ve been bumping Mayhem like a lot and this isn’t too crazy bc they’re the same artist but still), Lady Gaga “Love Drug”, Kim Wilde “Keep Me Hanging On” (yeah I thought I was tripping remembering an 80s cover of a Supremes song but it blends into LoveDrug so well), Doechii “Anxiety”, Gotye “Somebody That I Used to Know”

writing poetry and losing weight
are opposite endeavors.

poetry needs hunger to fuel it;
if you don’t want something, you can’t write it.
it might be something you always wanted but never got (that christmas toy your parents couldn’t buy)
it could be something you had, but then lost. (a relationship, most likely. or someone who died. or someone who is dead to you.)
it could be something you thought you wanted, but now you have it,
and you don’t want it anymore, and that’s its own sort of grief. (also a relationship, most likely, but it could be a job, a degree, a house)
it could be something you were always told to want, but don’t (the husband, the kids, the picket fences).
the specifics aren’t the point. the point is that there is a gap
between the wanting, the having and the no-longer-wanting, and somewhere in those gaps
there is a pen and a paper and a poem if you dare to pick it up.

weight loss is also fueled by hunger, by discomfort, by sacrifice.
but you can’t dwell on those things, can’t wallow in the pain
of eating the same things day in and day out, of waking up early to exercise
because you’re too tired at night to even take a fucking walk
and you just want to scream about how fucking unfair it is
that other people don’t have to track every morsel and can stay thin.
the rewards are so far away, no poem can fill the gap.

if i could run
as far as i could write, this wouldn’t be an issue.
but lately every line
feels like taking a step in vegas in july
while weighing 350 lbs, and remembering that pain
is the only way i stay hungry.

the last poem i will ever write?
...
that the title was clickbait,
and this is not
the last poem i’ll ever write.

well, at least i was hooked from the beginning! in all honesty, though, i really enjoyed this poem. it encapsulates such a detrimental part of writing poetry---that initial hesitance of "is this poem done yet?" which is something i've been struggling with myself recently! great job this napo, niteowl!

Tae! So, 11 and 12. Yes, hard to read, but also so eminently readable - but you have that way with words.

I love 13, but that's at least half because I love playing with titles/lyrics/recycling poetry and blackout poetry and all that.