to the finish line ~ a mixed poetry thread

hi, so, uh, vic / noperfectformula (formerly SeriouslyBored) here. i was inspired to create a thread to post my poetry, rants, thoughts, etc by my friends @theromanticchemist and @avimoon before, but I didn't want to because I was afraid of people from my school finding out about it. So now that I've changed my username, I think I'm ready to start posting.

umm, so I'm not really going to have a regular upload schedule, I might post multiple times per day or not at all for a week lol. i'll also be uploading my thoughts on society, politics, and my passions (formula one and vehicles in general) so don't expect *just* poetry.

everyone is free to post here in response too lol

A quick short poem that i (or one of my friends) wrote in 7th grade while we were probably on something:

The Chair

My grandmother came.
She brought a big chair with her.
The chair was my cat.

do you approve? do you still see

yourself when you look in this

broken mirror, broken dreams?

i looked in my yearbook yesterday and saw your signature, scrawled messily, slanting over the page.

shatterbelt

my favorite ap human geography word is shatterbelt because i am one. i am unstable. i want to speak but all i do is harm people. I dont have anything to say over what i do sometimes because i feel like i'm only a combination of other peope. see, im just insecure. every small thing makes me doubt everything i have, even if i don't, but i have every good reason too. i was hurt before, by somebody i trusted the most, by somebody promised that they could be trusted, who sold my words away as soon as they thought that it would jeopardize their friendships, because i wasn't worth the weight of my sums, i know that doesn't make sense right now, but it will. the world is politically unstable, and so am i. My brain spends endelss time politicking away, creating complex scenarios where i am loved and cared for all the time and i have a s a f e s p a c e, but then i wake up from my dream and i think i am here now, but maybe i am looking for impossibility. I am caught between 2 worlds. first i wanted to go back to my original one, but now im so much happier here, but i cant let myself be happy. somedays i go home and cry and threaten myself in the mirror, but i don't need to. I shouldn't anymore.

the fog is perfectly creeping in, covering the sky in a musky grey. i look out my window and there's nothing, how fitting that our freedom should end in a day when the sun itself has crept inside, where even the heavens do not want to witness what has happened.

my space with you

once i had a place to confide in but those are long gone, they've turned to dust now and the cobwebs are creeping over that sacred space where i was once filled with joy and laughter and so many late nights spent talking and waiting and pure ecstasy of having somebody who understood me, but it was all a lie. The books in the corner are all shredded and coated in my blood and the times of cheers and conversations only linger in the musty air. i went back there last week, broke open the door and stood in the destroyed archway and all the upturned floorboards were frowning at me, but i stepped over them and turned to the parchment left on the table, half burnt at the edges. i tried to get rid of them but i didn't have the heart, but the heart was all i had anyways after. when you left i know you went quietly into the night, taking the key with you and now nothing can ever be the same again. this place will forever bond us but i don't ever want to go back there. you know we locked eyes that last time we talked and all the things that i wanted to experience turned from gold to soured bronze.

I cannot put pen to paper;
It smears the ideas flowing from my brain into blots of indigo on crisp parchment
And the meaning is lost in the slanted calligraphy
Then thrown into the wastebin once I have forgotten them

I wish there was a before
Reset rewind this tape ticking
Takes me back to times ringed
In golden haze, where it was
inseparable, just for a moment
I let myself imagine your company
And laughing at my dumb jokes

My dearest friend, I never meant
To let go so far, these words
We broke with bridges, I thought
were in finality, and we would drift
into strangers like it always does and
soon these will be soldered memories
In my dying system cache

I brush past you in class today
we haven't spoken in months
again, and I am seeing our
threads of fate, tangled
inevitably through these darkest
days of May, where the sky
Is cruel backdrop to my stage of
this never-ending tragedy


You laugh, and I see a ghost
of a vestige of something
both of us missed dearly, im
sure, yet something holds me
Back from falling into lockstep
By your side, it is something
To the dearest friend I owe

noperfectformula wrote:i looked in my yearbook yesterday and saw your signature, scrawled messily, slanting over the page.

I trace my index,
over the letters.
It comes up empty.

why, you, I had nothing against
nor could i ever think that I would
stand to hear you deny
my voice here silencing
through your petty little
words, i thought you
kinder than this, and
blindsided by justice, you
take my name and tear it
away from the wall i
fight my life for
i cannot understand your
thoughts, you sink this
deeper than the scissors
ripping me out from
The paper you draw on
he