parked car in the badlands

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x. ghost in our wake


i sold my soul to dust devils, darling.
you would too, if you knew how we live
on their mercy. they are indifferent to our every word
but hungry for our breath, ready to steal it
and twist us into desert storms.

you know what they say about the wind out here:
it doesn’t ever die. sometimes it haunts you
and sometimes it’s gone, and that’s when
it watches you most. sometimes it rises
even when you pray for it not to, but you cannot tell
the wind to quell its hunger any easier
than i can tell you to listen to my wildfire warnings.

if you’d been looking in the rearview mirror,
you could have seen your long-lost heart, or even
a spark that was closer than it appeared in the glass.
Democracy dies in darkness. Also at 4:30PM in Pacific Standard Time, apparently.

silver (she/her)




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xi. a shattering in clarity


and darling, make no mistake—
i will not be a half-remembered muse,
not the valley to admire nor the cliff to view it from.
i would rather be my own prophet of inspiration, reading omens
in the scattering of broken glass. i would start seeing cracks
in concrete too, see gasoline seeping through. i would
pick a direction and hit the road, maybe save you,
if you wanted me to. i think you can’t be saved though.

i’m thinking of readdressing my postcards to someone who will read them.
Democracy dies in darkness. Also at 4:30PM in Pacific Standard Time, apparently.

silver (she/her)




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Silver I'm in love with your poetry!! The pictures you have painted with your poems are simply gorgeous on their own, but also all together are so cohesive with your NaPo title/theme. Some of my favorites so far have been #7, "firescape in the hills" and #9, "little state of sunshine". These lines especially:
i mean the way
i use the ashes to scrawl cries for help on the red earth
and you trace writings i will never get to read.

from the former are just !!!! And these lines from the latter:
sunlight drips through a cracked car window,
spills over your arm and flows along your veins
until it pools by our feet

are amazing; I love the way you characterize sunlight in a "liquid form" with the adjective and verb usage. And the last line ("and i scream for rain") ties this together so well!

Can't wait to read more! <3
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Thanks so much @figmoon!! Your poetry has been phenomenal, I've been loving it so much this NaPo. Glad you like what I have so far! <3
Democracy dies in darkness. Also at 4:30PM in Pacific Standard Time, apparently.

silver (she/her)




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xii. tales of half-light, told in flashes


there are some things that you can only see
in certain shades of red, it turns out.

when the flare went off, i was supposed to watch
the darkling landscape streaked with crimson shadows,
scan them for something that couldn't be seen—

didn't want to be seen. instead i saw your face
painted in that dim blood-like glow, your face that
i wasn't supposed to see that way, didn't want to see that way.
the light stretched your smile into a sneer, like you thought
it was too dark for me to catch it. i glimpsed it, though,
and when the light passed i knew i wouldn't see it the same again.

red, red, red, our comet’s looking dead now.
Democracy dies in darkness. Also at 4:30PM in Pacific Standard Time, apparently.

silver (she/her)




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xiii. promise to the pacific


by the way, last night,
i imagined a blue sky for us
(but i am only seeing red
when i look at you now,
and despite all my repaintings
it won’t stain into purple)

consider this a foreshadowing
just before the dark curtain’s fall:
one way or another, this parked car
will be taking me to the ocean
(with or without you, my anchor.)
Democracy dies in darkness. Also at 4:30PM in Pacific Standard Time, apparently.

silver (she/her)




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xiv. desert(er) of the cinematic


come to think of it, i don’t remember
how you ended up no longer being in the car.
i just remember that there was smoke, and with that smoke
there was a spark snaking up our gasoline trail, biting you
into surprise. i don’t remember that i dropped a match,
just that i made a wish on a candle, the same wish that condors make
when they screech for open skies. i remember the rush of heat
but not the crash of glass, and the way the flames crackled
but not the dying whispers of our radio. i didn’t notice
that you weren’t in your seat until i was behind the wheel.

you wanted me to believe that because we were lonely,
we were lost, but instead you taught me about being stranded
and how it can happen even when the sun leads you west.
i think of how seaspray will feel on my cheeks, maybe without
the salt leaving room for tears, and if this were a movie,
i’d feel every eye on me as i drive off into the sunset.
Democracy dies in darkness. Also at 4:30PM in Pacific Standard Time, apparently.

silver (she/her)




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xv. north / it’s all up from here


the end of a trip isn't all repacking your bags and
mourning the place you'll leave. it's also finding a hair
lighter than yours on your sleeve, one that's somehow
been with you during all the heartache. it's also taking a turn
on the freeway and realizing afterwards that it will be a long time
before you ever face the ocean again. it's also knowing
how light your suitcase was before and that now
it’s weighed down with words like trust issues
and emotional wounds and victim in between
the sandstone dust and all the leftover matches.
at least it’s also that final look in the rearview mirror
back at the badlands, just to drive the point (and you) home—
you won. you’re tangled up in sunrise now.
Democracy dies in darkness. Also at 4:30PM in Pacific Standard Time, apparently.

silver (she/her)




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SILVER?????? OH MY GOD???? I FEEL AS IF I'VE WATCHED AN ENTIRE MOVIE. IT'S LITERALLY EVERYTHING
The scenes you paint in your poetry are almost cinematic, very vivid and tangible. You take this concept of the badlands and this entire ominous atmosphere of driving through this desert with an endless sunset and connecting that landscape to your own emotions and inner world, and something about that works so. damn. WELL! Like???? It's so unbelievably clever, and OH MY GOD I JUST REALISED technically you do frame this in the scope of a movie almost, with mentions to 'recurring themes and motifs' (and how you can't find them) and tropes in movies (like that part where you mentioned watching the sunset but without the wind in your hair!!) And of course, the iconic "riding off into the sunset" alluded to in the poem before the finale. (Another thing that I noticed, tiny tiny detail, is that part in poem x. where the speaker looks into the rearview and describes seeing a spark "closer than it appeared" which, well, duh it's a rearview mirror yeah, BUT ALSO IT'S THESE TINY DETAILS THAT you add into your poetry that makes it so immersive!) And some of the lines read so vulnerably, like diary entries, which I really enjoy too!

Can't bring myself to pick a favorite poem, because this is entirely a masterpiece, so here are some lines I loved in particular!

you're tangled up in sunrise now

i didn’t notice
that you weren’t in your seat until i was behind the wheel.

but you cannot tell
the wind to quell its hunger any easier
than i can tell you to listen to my wildfire warnings.

darling, you see that glowing sign?
yeah, it says vacancy. i slipped a matching one
through my ribcage because it feels so empty in there. do you like it?

i tell you my heart is a postcard to the grand canyon

i might be the fossilized howl of a buried coyote, or even
a fallen vulture in some ironic twist. in here, i am just
my frameworks, the scaffolding that the rest of me
is supposed to be built onto, but i am seeing it stripped hollow.

the shadows from the mesas extend a little further, swallowing you whole, and suddenly you’re seeing a photographic timelapse of the valley becoming a sundial, even though you’ve never seen the sun finish its fall here.


Your NaPo thread has been such a treat to read - i could read pages of this because the world you've built through your poetry is absolutely addictive <333

PS. we all know i love taylor swift, and a recurring motif in her songs is that she always watches her lover from the passenger seat, and in her recent works, she subverts that theme to talk about HER being the one driving the car now. and that's something i've always adored, and always wanted more of, and now I have it through your thread, in such a fresh, otherworldly light <3

PPS. a song that i head in my head while reading through your thread was Gasoline by HAIM (ft. TSwift) - if you ever give it a listen, just know it has some sexual references. but anyway, in my very small and personal opinion, that song fits the vibes your thread gives me (aND I LOVE THEM!)
bas ek rahe mera kaam ishq,
mera kaam ishq,
mera kaam ishq




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Everything @Euphory said, oh my gosh.This might be my favorite collection of yours that I've seen, it's absolutely amazing. It's so raw and badass and beautiful <333
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