Sleepy Puppy Waking Up

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Gender Female
Points 5688
Reviews 254
A pool of invisible fire
glowing embers of
soft sleepy fur
curly and fuzzy and wrinkled and small,
oh so small.
A tail that doesn't quite touch
a wet button black nose
the gentle rise and fall
of the fluff on his back.
Little teeth, like pearls lining an
itsy pink tongue
poking out from dark lips,
lips that in another would
speak of evil,
but in this puppy face,
they only bring out his eyes.
“It is one of life's bitterest truths that bedtime so often arrives just when things are really getting interesting.” - Lemony Snicket




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Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 31
OK. I like this poem. There are a few things I would change.
curly and fuzzy and wrinkled and small,
oh so small.

I would take out the
oh so small.
or make it longer. It just sticks out to me and doesn't fit in. I think that's about it... otherwise well done. You have written something I have been trying to write for a while!
There’s nothing to do, There’s nothing to see
There’s no where to go, There’s no where to be
I’m just sitting alone, In this empty room
Writing my poem, I’m over the moon




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 5688
Reviews 254
thanks! yeah, i think i agree, now that i look at it that line does kind of stand out. thanks, that was really helpful!
“It is one of life's bitterest truths that bedtime so often arrives just when things are really getting interesting.” - Lemony Snicket



If food is poetry, is not poetry also food?
— Joyce Carol Oates