(Untitled)

A lovers heart;
Cut open.
The serrated blade,
drowned in blood.
A lovers hand;
Balled into a fist.
Teeth grinding,
Blood shot eye's.
A lovers face;
is frowning.
a look of deep,
remorce -
of course.
A lovers mind;
Caught in a web,
Of deceit.
False accusations,
a spanner in the works.

your poem gives me a odd chilling feeling in my body i don't know what it is, but i know that its a great poem keep it up please (love jack)

This is a really good poem, but made me feel kinda...empty? Your writing is very similar to my friends, its quite a unique style however and your very talented!

I like all the description that you put in this poem, but I feel like Jack too. It's wierd! Does any more of your own writing make you feel like this?

RR*

It seems a little depressing doesn't it.

well actually....if you related to the poem in that way you may see it as depressing WHEN TO OTHERS it means something else. Like dissapointment........... a break up.............. don't just assume its depressing!!!

Well I see here nice templates but then again this is so overruled and not unique as we've seen this kind of poetry tons of times. The structure is nice, that's all I can say but hey I guess we all started out this way, can't say I didn't. Try something new that will do good

Cheerios, Chandni

i don't know what it is about the poem, but i felt kinda chilled and a little empty. i don't know how to describe it, exactly, but invoking this kind of emotion is very impressive.

thanks, yeah, its supposed to be chilling and from someone who's not stable. Thye want sweet revenge. SO i suppose I could have given it a title to explain that???