fade away

7 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 75
That spotlight turns my way
It's just another day
I wear the painted makeup
Of a world that sold me out
I turn around
Begin my dance

I just want to fade
Fade to a new world
A world were I'm free
No more strings
No more things
To hold me down
Fade away

They tug at the strings
They're tied everywere
a quiet reassurence that I can't esscape
But the catch is
The world can't see
They've been blindfolded
Lied to
Brain washed

I just want to fade
Fade to a new world
A world were I'm free
No more strings
No more things
To hold me down
Fade away

Just as It's almost done
It's almost time to go back to my cage
I can feel it
Light but a soothing light
It's in my site
within my reach

I just want to fade away
This light is so bright
I want it to swallow me up
Take me to that new world
Fade me out

But just as the strings loosen
The ringmaster shouts
he trys to snuff it out
They go head to head
But in the end
It's all me

I just want to fade away
This light is so bright
I want it to swallow me up
Take me to that new world
Fade me out

I want out
I want out now

I make the move
But weak I crumble
The audience laughs
And I draw strength

I'm almost out
I'm almost done

That light warms me
Lands and fades it all out

I'm out
I've faded into
A whole new world
That light warms me
Lands and fades it all out

I now live by my rules
The sad makeup of a doomed world
No longer stains my face
I faded out
Called out
He rescued me
The light took me away

Faded
I'm faded
Out
Gone
God made us Best friends because he knew our moms couldn't handle us as sisters.....




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 566
This poem made me feel really..cold? It seems very deep and really emotional, well done its extremly good
Bag.

Got YWS?




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 3454
Reviews 694
krystalstars,

Please read the rules on posting poetry...

http://youngwriterssociety.com/viewtopic.php?t=705

Thanks.
My Literary and Arts Blog

"I think I'd miss you even if we'd never met." -The Wedding Date




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 75
Thank you for the positive comments! Although I don't see what rule I broke.
God made us Best friends because he knew our moms couldn't handle us as sisters.....




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 4825
Reviews 236
May I recommend rhythm? This poem is very full of emotion and congratulations of a job well done. Kudos
“To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.” - Freya Stark




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 915
Krystalstars--


The narrator is self-obsessed and boring. I doubt if a revision that does not include starting over will be worthwhile.

Take some time. Step away from writing and read. Stop thrashing at the keyboard.


Take care,
Brad
"If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders." -Hal Abelson




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 75
Incandescence wrote:Krystalstars--


The narrator is self-obsessed and boring. I doubt if a revision that does not include starting over will be worthwhile.

Take some time. Step away from writing and read. Stop thrashing at the keyboard.


Take care,
Brad


Ok, I will.
God made us Best friends because he knew our moms couldn't handle us as sisters.....



Mr. Scorpio says productivity is up 2%, and it's all because of my motivational techniques -- like donuts and the possibility of more donuts to come.
— Homer Simpson