Your Heart

.:: Your Heart ::.


our heart is a fragile part of our life
It is like this side up with arrows
or , caution fragile
Some are danger stay away,
and hit me i am open.
once in awhile or quite often
It is like hide me in a box
and lock me with a key.
Our heart can hold many secrets
That only God can know and only God can see.
Some let them out for the whole world to hear
Every person has a heart
Every person has a different heart
Every person is different in the way they treat there heart

I'm sorry, but due to the poor grammar and spelling, I couldn't even understand what you are trying to say, so Its hard to critique it on a more artistic level. I'm not trying to be mean or anything--I want to read it and critique it more thouroughly, but I can't do that when I cant understand what you're trying to say.

Hi awsomewritter123,


The above is sufficient to trigger the gag reflex. This is really awful writing.

Return to grade school and learn grammar and how to spell. As it were, I would advise you to never write again.


Best,
Brad

I am sorry a bout the gramer I was in a hurry.

There is really no reason for you to be in a hurry; posting pieces in the forums isn't a race. It's not like you have to contend against deadlines or time constraints here. Please, for our sanity, take the time to proofread, or have someone else proofread for you. For goodness' sake, take advantage of spell check--there's one built right into the forums, if your program of choice on the computer doesn't have one, or you prefer to write by hand.

If worse comes to worst, ask a more experienced writer on the site for help. Or a teacher, a parent, a school tutor--anyone. Please.

Try not to flood the forums. This is pretty bad, I'm sorry to say. Bad grammar, bad puncuation, makes no sense, and is poorly written. It makes no sense, it does not stay on one subject. Bad spelling too. Please try again, but have someone read it before you post it.

Pandora

i think it makes sense, but it has no flow to it. work on it some more.