It

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Gender Female
Points 890
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It is in all of us
and it lurks
and it searches

for you...

And it's always there
and it watches you while you sleep
as the hands on the clock move from dusk to dawn

it's there!

And it knows
how to get you

but you have to let it first
you have to call on it

however...

you'll lose self respect
and tolerence is already gone

It is the Demon
It comes when we bekon to it
It's with us
All
the
time
night and day

When we call for it
it'll come for us, to us
and it'll be the last thing we see....

Suicide!




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Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 76
Suicide is is an individuals ultimate choice (*like abortion*). I do not think you should use the word we. Especially since you switched from us to you in the first verse. You should not switch back in the end.


Also, last verse should implicate suicide, instead of revealing it.



Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.
— Jamie Anderson