Aleana

She moves through the trees. Tired yet determined, she runs. As though free of the world she forgets her pain and suffering. The love she once had no longer haunts her. Its almost like there is a cloak of assure is keeping her from her own agony.
She stops to breathe and thunder sounds in the distance. She laughs as it falls from the sky. Now drenched, reality returns and her serenity disappears. Shaking her head she forces the water from her face, then continues.
Now after jogging for thirty minutes strait she loses breath again. She lets her pace slow to a walking jog than stops completely as she reaches a small stream.

PET PEEVES> "as though". ick (x2)

runing through trees= metephoric
jogging becomes out of place.

YWS needs to have a category for first drafts.

Is this meant to be a chapter or a prologue?

I have no idea who this 'she' is and why she is running. There is no introduction and I didn't feel anything while reading it.

She stops to breathe and thunder sounds in the distance. She laughs as it falls from the sky.

Thunder doesn't fall from the sky. I think you meant rain as later 'she' shakes her head of the water, but you forgot to mention that it was raining in the first place.

Now after jogging for thirty minutes strait she loses breath again.

strait should be straight.

Slow things down. I have no clue what the plot may be or where all this is.

Good luck!

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