Last Person To Post Here Wins [10]

It's because you're a robot.

Ah

Yes. It is a well known fact that robots have chickens for hearts.

Not to mock you or anything, it's just well known. Unless you would like my upgrade? I offer lions and weasels for hearts, unicorns for a little extra.

How can a wolf offer a lion?

I have a very good method of nabbing lions. First I take some meat and put it on the ground. Then when a lion comes along I snip off it's mane and take it. Then I have caught the lion.

You're cruel.

I don't hurt it, I just take it's mane for a while. When it is well and truly caged I let it have it's mane back.

on one condition. It must let me have a lion for a heart. And so you have it, I offer lions, weasels and unicorns for a little extra. Do you want one?

I protest against animal cruelty

Okay, sorry. Would you like me to let them all go?

Yes

Okey dokey loki. Bye guys!
{lets animals go}
I even made you a new electronic heart, so that you can let your pet chicken go too

*raises eyebrow*

What? Oh right, I'm still trying to get some sleep. But I was sleeping all peaceful and suddenly people started coming through and talking. I duck-taped their mouths shut.
...
why didn't that work on you?