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Toujours Nuit~1400 words

Emerson · 2006-09-25T01:09:03Z

So as you can see, I've already gotten a lot of edits on it (see posts below!) but, I haven't the time to edit with school and NaNoWriMo coming so I'm putting the edits of this on hold (It was a tough one! Oh the holes...) so please, no comments/critiques until I can polish it again :? ---- “I’m going to the opera tonight,” Lumière whispered in Aceline’s ear. He leaned over the settee looking down at her. Champagne-colored hair hung over his face, hiding his features from the girl below him. “Would you like to join me?” “No, I want to stay home. I’m too tired tonight,” Aceline’s voice sounded weak and her face looked pale. He walked around the settee, sitting on the arm of the big chair next to her. Her brown hair was matted and she looked unkempt. “You’ve been sick for too long, Aceline, I worry for you…” Aceline looked into his liquid-turquoise eyes while thinking about what he said. They were puddles of hope and immaturity to her; he was always trying to find a new way to cure her ailments. “There is a new show at the opera this week and it is supposed to be magical. It is called Toujours Nuit. Isn’t that beautiful? Always Night.” The girls auburn eyes fell to the floor, “I do not wish to go with you Lumière, not at all. I am sick, and you try too hard.” The young man was saddened by the rejection, but did not change his mind. “Well, I am going now, then. Goodbye.” His farewell, Aceline thought, sounded like his last. Flowing through the door, Lumière stepped out to the street. He thought of Aceline and her illness. For months, she had been sick: always tired and in the house. He worried for her but he worried for himself as well. Am I selfish to leave the house without her? Must I stay with her all the time, be at her side always, and go crazy just like she? This mystery illness was what kept him from having a wife; she refused to talk of serious things until she knew she would be better. “I do not want to leave you a widower,” she would reply when ever he spoke of a wedding, “I will not have it.” Lumière loved her with all his heart, but he loved life also. “Tonight, my dear man, you will see the best show I’ve ever seen!” spoke the usher as he led Lumière to his seat. “It is such a good show! I have stood in the back three times to watch and I am still amazed by it. The main dancer, Foncé, oh he is wonderful! Some say he dances so well because his legs are made of clouds. Doesn’t that sound queer? Even if his legs are clouds, it doesn’t matter! It’s the best show ever.” Lumière finally persuaded the enthusiastic man to leave, as the show would be starting any minute and he wanted no distractions. As the usher paced away the curtain rose to show a line of dancers, their arms all held up by yellow ribbons that lifted to the ceiling and their faces painted white like dolls. They resembled marionettes, and for a moment Lumière thought they were. Once the dancing and the orchestra started, though, he knew that they could not be marionettes, like they dressed to be, but had to be human. No doll could ever dance like they did. It was their nature to dance, like the nature of rain is to fall from the sky. Lumière felt happy in watching them dance. He felt like an eavesdropper listening to a marvelous conversation; seeing something beautiful where he shouldn’t be. He forgot Aceline at home sick and coughing, and thought only of the dancers and the music they pranced to. Spinning, whirling with the ribbons on their arms and legs, twisting around to lock them together in eternal dance; he felt so entranced watching them. The last dance of the night started: a solo. Lumière knew it was the dancer Foncé up on the stage that the usher had spoken of, those cloud-legs of his twirling franticly to the fast paced song. Now Lumière saw his sparkle, now he saw his magic. Foncé looked, even from so far away, to be exactly like the mannequin he played. A dumb doll held up on strings was what he played. How can he be human? Lumière thought. Staring up at the Marionette’s face, Lumière saw eternity in his eyes. Mesmerized by the brilliance on the stage, Lumière thought he saw the end to all questions. This man is no man, he is forever. I must know why he is forever! Maybe he this man could help Aceline. This is the answer! The curtain lowered over Foncé and his forever eyes. Without even waiting for the leave of the crowd, Lumière stood and pushed his way to the back of the theater. Back and back he went into the oblivion of the theater where eternity lived. Lumière now had a great plan worked out. He would meet this man and learn from him how to live forever. He was sure Foncé would have the answer. With the answer to eternity, he could cure Aceline and she would never have to die or be near death due to her illness, or any illness to come. There in the hallway stood the man of eternity talking to the other mannequins of forever. With the doll make up and dancing shoes removed, he appeared even more to be forever. And so did the others. Lumière cleared his throat and tried to seem polite. “My name is Lumière. May we speak in private?” Foncé smiled politely and nodded. “I’m sorry if this seems rude, Monsieur Foncé but…” Lumière was unsure how to say such a thing without being foolish. He now started to doubt himself, What if I’m being a fool? This man is not forever and no one can be. I’m only trying too hard, like Aceline would say. “You want your girl to live, yes?” Foncé spoke boldly. Lumière was stunned that he could see into his thoughts. “Can you even read my mind?” he asked. Foncé laughed his voice big and intimidating. “No, Monsieur, but it is your face. You tell me through your face what you want, I know what you are looking for. Yes, I am forever.” Lumière stayed silent, unsure what to say. “But why save the girl? If she is forever as well you will be locked up in the house even longer. Till your death! Why waste my gift on her? I could give it to you. Wouldn’t you like to be forever?” Foncé’s words caressed Lumière’s ear. “Yes…” he said. “Yes, yes! Make me forever!” Aceline was nothing, once again, like she was through the dance. What did she matter? They weren’t even married. And if she was forever, she might not even want to marry Lumière. “Please…show me how it is you are forever.” Foncé laughed again, in that same dark way, and started walking to the stage. “I know the dance that makes me live forever, and you will learn it. You must stay with us and dance.” Lumière stood on the stage watching Foncé dance and from no where, the music started up again like it had during the show. The ribbons fell down from the ceiling, yellow like parchment paper. Lumière felt happy to see the ribbons come down and to think they’d be his, but those ribbons…they latched to his arms, seized his legs and took control. His young skin faded, old age took over. Foncé stopped his dance and watched the man age. The other mannequins came to the stage, watching as well. They all had the ribbons on them, and they all danced now. The ribbons twisted Lumière into dancing along but he had become terrified. “What have you done?” he cried, but none of the dolls listened. “Where is my youth? My beauty? My forever?” Foncé laughed and the others laughed with him, still dancing magically. “You have your forever, forever dancing. The price wasn’t big, but now you are our prey…” With those words, Lumière’s old skin turned white and porcelain. He thought of Aceline, how he would miss her… “I have failed you. My selfishness consumed me and now this! Why couldn’t I have stayed forever with you?” he sobbed, the ribbons tying more around him. Around his waist, his neck; the ribbons consumed him until he was locked tight in their grips. Watching the ribbons consume this old man, Foncé and his marionettes watched intently, smiling with sin. The old man was gone, taken into the ribbons like all the others before him. “The price wasn’t big but now you are our prey…” Foncé said again, laughing as the ribbons lifted themselves to the ceiling.

Emerson

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Points 32885

Reviews 2058

Wed Nov 22, 2006 6:16 pm

Emerson says... · Wed Nov 22, 2006 6:16 pm

thank you

I know people are probably talking behind my back about my lack of ANY edit, but hey I'm a busy (and procrastinating) person. EVENTUALLY, this will be edited, trust me. Just as soon as Nano is over, I'm going into editing mode. Not to say this will get edited, but hey, its something!

“It's necessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live.”
― Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo

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Riedawriter23

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Points 4890

Reviews 516

Sun Jan 28, 2007 8:48 am

Riedawriter23 says... · Sun Jan 28, 2007 8:48 am

This was very different then the other pieces I read of your and still of course I love it. It had that long story feel at first but then after a while at the end it was okay to actually end. I wasn't begging for more because I knew it was really over and yet I felt much satisfaction. This was brilliantly done. GREAT JOB CLAU! Applause for you!

-Rieda

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*This wonderful crit is brought to you by CCF!*

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october smells like being ten years old and not scared of anything
— dissonance

Toujours Nuit~1400 words

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