coffeebeans and lemongrass

i spend tenuous nights
tearing at the fascimile
who has taken my smile and laugh
and lives as me

she perfected the art of acting
better than i could ever hope to
somedays the fight seems foundless
after all
why declare war on one
who hides the screams

opiate haze lingering
as she envelops me in clingfilm
and shows the world that
i
am
happy

but she is just a perfect copy
concealing the imperfections
and the truth

Rickety soul
hold fast
to this world

never give up
what you hold dear

go towards the future
with all your feeble might

and one day
you will be whole

You make it so hard
not to notice You
almost-blonde hair
stone-green eyes

not perfect (nothing ever is)
but every imperfection is
gorgeous

acidic sweets and
Spanish
much all i know of You

yet still i find myself falling

i am filled with salt water
that ebbs and flows, never still
when i cry
'tis only the ocean spilling
over the flood defenses



the salt water had covered all the ports
and when the tide went out
(through my mind and eyes)
i found them all again

the ocean is a pile of salt and sand
there is no water left

i sit in a corner of the bathroom
as you hammer on the door
i'm sorry, love, i didn't mean-
but in my head you tell me that
i
am
worthless

[unfinished]

the cracks in the crystal ball
scared me once before
before i met you and
stopped believing in Fate
you were the crack
the fault that threatened everything
marred, flawed, illogical
perfectly beautiful

i'm not scared of living on
i'm scared of what's at the end
as i take each step forwards
my heart quivers in its seat
changes and morphs
i'm not scared, i'm just changing

turn the music up loud
can't hear your thoughts
feel it echo in your bones
life became so raucous
move in time
erase everything
don't break down
you've already cried enough

put pencil to paper
drawn lines on your wrists
graphite and dents on the page
permanent marker, no knife
grey on white
red on white
writing not much at all
pouring out emotion anyway

frustration lost the day
somewhere along the way
you show them the happiness
feeling became stuck
liveliness and fulfillment
left you hollowed out
always a smile on your face
wearing a mask

give me a blade of grass
a wisp of a dream
and the clouds' vapour
and i will spin you a tale
of love and endless peace

an owl's feather
a moonbeam
the essence of the night
will teach of secrets
and the mysteries of magic

but a drop of poison
the ache of revenge
and a dagger's razor edge
and you will live to see
the desolate end of the world

free then,
free to live

open all the windows
all the doors
let the house breathe in
and home sigh out again

papers in the air
on the floor
on every surface
everything

i forgot we liked to dance
atop the wall around the house
and up to the roof
where we would sing like larks

you brought me joy
simple smiles
and laughter
endless days

and we will be back again
adults now and yet still we sing
like songbirds atop the roof
of the old home we used to love

free now,
free to live

when we were little
we used poetry to explore the world
to learn and know more
30 days have September, April, June and November

older we use poetry
to make sense of our world
understand and express ourselves

we read until we think we understand
until we find a new part of ourselves and then
we are off again to try and comprehend
the ever changing facets of ourselves

Our poetry when we were little
Encompassed the world
Older now, our poetry
Defines our world

Sweet garden chorus
from birds I cannot pinpoint
in the trees
buzzing from the bees
at the cherry blossoms
the clouded plane trails
fascinate my eye
before a firey squirrel
comes to take my mind
away

little imp of the faerie folk
scampering from branch to branch
never failing in his playful dance
on his back rides the infant princess
already longing to enchant the world
beguiling yet playful
Oberon and Titania's child
for sure

he is soon out of my sight
the ride of the tiny faerie
leaving me dreaming of Albion
no place I'd rather be

we try not to look too far
into the corners of the darkness
when we wake up at night
or else we fear we'll drown
or be eaten by the monsters
hiding under the bed

the darkness of the nights past
became the tarnish on our souls' light
the spot that blocks out some of the light
we watch it quietly
debating what to do