Saudade

Creator: Spearmint
Roleplay: The Headquarters
Nickname: Sau

Sit down. I'm Commander Furia, head of HQ. If you get this job, you'll take orders from me. Understood?

Your Response: Fyoo-ree-ah. You wouldn't happen to get furious often, would you?

Hmm. Closer to the microphone. State your name for the record.

Your Name: Well, if you're Fury, you can call me Rage. *smirks*

Okay. First mistake of this job. We don't use our actual names here. Give me an alias.

Your Alias: Ha, I wish that was my actual name! ...On second thought, no, that's too copycat-ish, and that's not my style. I'll leave you full dominion over the angry names and instead go with... Saudade. Sau for short.

Really? That's the best you can come up with? No, no, we're moving forward. What makes you qualified for this job?

Ai! I'll need to address your insult, regardless of whether this is prerecorded or not. Saudade is a wonderful word that English speakers are missing out on. It is the perfect combination of profound longing, nostalgia, and melancholy. Alas, there is no direct English translation, but to attempt to give you an example in a sentence, I feel saudade for the Portugal that existed before the Mecha War. To be listening to the expressive voice of a Fado singer while walking on the Dom Luís bridge at night... *sigh* That "restoration" does not suit it at all.

Your Abilities: My spit can turn into any element of the periodic table. And before you ask, yes, I can control it. I do not go around spitting radioactive elements at people. In reality, you'll be thanking me when a neat little explosion due to a quick glob of potassium launched into water saves us all.
Strengths: I destroy the box and use it to make a cardboard fort. That is to say, I'm creative. I've been getting out of sticky situations since I was five and stuck myself to the ceiling with superglue. And once I gained this ability with my saliva... Well, I'll say that a misshapen splatter of gold is still gold, and fire does not care what the sulfur used to be when it burns it and creates sulfur dioxide. In absolutely unrelated news, the stink of sulfur dioxide can clear out a room very quickly.
I am also an amateur cavaquista, and can pronounce "cavaquinho" correctly, which I think is a strength not many have. For those who aren't familiar with the cavaquinho, it is a little Portuguese string instrument that is similarly shaped to the ukelele, though it is tuned differently. Ah, and I make an excellent caldo verde. That's a soup, for the preguiçosos who can't be bothered to look it up.
Weaknesses: Macacos me mordam! Our first meeting, and you're already probing for weak spots? Well, I suppose this is a job interview. Okay, a quick mini-lesson with Saudade: the typical human produces 0.5 to 1.5 liters of saliva every day. However, saliva contains essential enzymes for digestion and enables swallowing, so I cannot spit out all the saliva I make. If I stay hydrated, I can spit approximately 0.25 liters of saliva a day, which is about half of a typical water bottle. And I cannot gush saliva from my mouth, of course. So I am limited to maybe one milliliter of an element at a time. There, now you know more about saliva than you ever wished to know. Also, sometimes I falo pelos cotovelos, or speak with elbows, if you know what I mean. If you don't, it means I can talk non-stop. That impresses certain people and annoys others, and I suspect you fall into the latter category, Fury.

Hmm. Okay, so what are you planning on wearing to the battlefield? Nothing ridiculous. I'm not going to waste my resources on a flashy suit just for you to die on the first mission.

Your Appearance: Does that mean you would waste resources on a flashy suit if I did not die on the first mission? Jokes, jokes. I'm not too picky about the clothing. Something I can run in. Gloves, in case I need to spit something dangerous. A little pig charm in my pocket, just in case I need to make someone ir com os porcos. ...As the saying goes.

We'll smooth out the details later. Good enough. Now to the nitty gritty. I need to know that you'll be compatible with the other members. I also need to know that you know yourself enough to reveal all aspects of your personality, even the not so good.

Your Personality: Tsk tsk. This better be a recording, or I'd have to say you have a cabeça de alho chocho. Only one with a head of dry garlic would fail to get a sense of my personality from my previous answers. But if you insist. *stands up* *flourishes a bow* I am Saudade, and I am a thinker of bizarre ideas, a speaker of random words, and a meeter of interesting people. Well, no, scratch that last one. I'm not a person in a meeting. Perhaps if we collectively decided to make "meeter" well-recognized to mean "one who meets," it would work. *sits down*
Strengths: I have already mentioned various strengths, but if you'd like others: I can breathe well most of the time, my singing voice is a nice tenor, I painted some landscapes once and a famous artist friend of mine said they were not bad, I can use humor to break the ice much better than the Titanic can (old reference, I know), I have memorized the periodic table, and I know the square root of 361.
Weaknesses: I cannot breathe very well when pets, pollen, or mold are around. My allergy-induced asthma is not life-threatening, but it can be inconvenient. Also, I have an awful sense of rhythm (hence being only an amateur cavaquista), my artist friend ridiculed my portraits, I'm told my need to fill awkward silences can be annoying, I need to sing the periodic table song to remember the more uncommon elements, and I don't know the square of 361.

We'll learn soon enough if what you said is the truth. Now. Tell me about your past. This is vital information, so try not to leave out details. Anything incriminating especially. I need to know if I have to do more paperwork to get you hired.

Oh, are you going to have me sing the periodic table song as proof? *clears throat* There's hydrogen and helium then lithium beryllium~ boron, carbon everywhere, nitrogen all through the air~ with oxygen so you can breathe (mostly) and fluorine for your pretty teeth~ neon to light up the signs, sodium for salty times~ Ahem. I'll stop before you get salty.

Your Age: Huuuuum, I did not know age could be incriminating. Well, I am 25. Sue me for being a perfect square, I don't care.
Your Gender & Pronouns: I'm um cara. He/him.
Your History: Really, all you need to know about my history is that I'm from northern Portugal. Ah, and you might want to know that my mother died fighting in the Mecha War, and my father is a biochemist who may or may not have studied virology. Who am I kidding, I can't build up a proper sense of mystery here. Yes. He started studying virology after the Splinter virus broke out. My sister... my older sister left to find the androids. I do not know if she wishes to find revenge, or to enlist their aid, or to join them, or- or anything about her now. My younger brother does not speak.
Personal Secret: ...Is it callous of me to wish my father had died instead? Mãe was always the strong one, the one who knew what to do and kept us all together, and now that it's just Pai and me and my siblings... The world splinters again every morning.
Personal Wish: That I did not have to feel saudade. That I could know that things would be okay and I would not have to feel this beautiful, broken, pointless nostalgia for a reality that will never exist again. I...
*deep breath*
I wish I had some pasteis de nata. That means custard tarts, for you pobres tolos who have never visited Portugal.

I really did not need to know your hopes and aspirations, but thank you for that knowledge. Before we leave, do you have any questions for us?

Other: Would you happen to have some all-purpose flour, salt, water, butter, white sugar, water, a cinnamon stick, a lemon, milk, egg yolks, and vanilla extract? Oh, and an oven?