Spiderbite

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Creator: WeepingWisteria
Roleplay: The Headquarters
Nickname: Spider

Sit down. I'm Commander Furia, head of HQ. If you get this job, you'll take orders from me. Understood?

Your Response: Taking orders from you. Got it.

Hmm. Closer to the microphone. State your name for the record.

Your Name: You can call me Dillon.

Okay. First mistake of this job. We don't use our actual names here. Give me an alias.

Your Alias: I don't have a real name. On paper, I don't exist. But fine. Do you want something that sounds less real? You can call me Spiderbite.

Really? That's the best you can come up with? No, no, we're moving forward. What makes you qualified for this job?

Your Abilities: Look, I'm not going to hide it. I'm an android. A... before android. The kind no one likes to have around. But, that gives me a few benefits. Namely durability compared to your human skin. Extra limbs that are sharp and good for climbing. I'm fully intelligent, so you don't have to worry about some programming getting hijacked.
Strengths: I'm strong, obviously. I was built to be a celebrity's bodyguard. Embarrassing, I know, but that means I was made to be imposing and a good fighter. I'm good with guns and my fists.
Weaknesses: I wasn't exactly built to blend-in. Some rich idiot commissions himself an android and you know it's going to be flashy. No one's going to believe I'm a human unless they're blind and deaf. And even the android tolerant are going to get squeamish. There's a reason I've been away from all of you.

Hmm. Okay, so what are you planning on wearing to the battlefield? Nothing ridiculous. I'm not going to waste my resources on a flashy suit just for you to die on the first mission.

Your Appearance: Look, I've had a lot of people ask me if I can just go naked. The short answer is absolutely not. I have shame, and even though I technically don't have all the human bits, it's still mortifying. I usually make my clothes. It's hard to go to a retail store when you have four metal spider legs sticking out of your back. My entire body is metal, so anything thin and fragile isn't going to cut it. My hair is this sort of leather? Not very keen to be styled, so it's staying down. Thankfully it doesn't grow. I can't believe he made me blonde. D***

We'll smooth out the details later. Good enough. Now to the nitty gritty. I need to know that you'll be compatible with the other members. I also need to know that you know yourself enough to reveal all aspects of your personality, even the not-so-good.

Your Personality: Yes, my personality is all my own. If my celebrity creator could control it, I'm sure he would have made me all peaches and cream. But he didn't, so here we are.
Strengths: Being created to fight makes you tough. I don't scare easily. I don't respond to intimidation. I mean, I'm not stupid. I don't think I can fight god or anything. But, if it's a guy I could beat, he's talking trash because he knows he's trash. I don't back down or give up, all that hero mumbo jumbo whatever. Just know I'm in this for real and I'm following this to the end.
Weaknesses: I'm the first to admit that I can be... an acquired taste. Sue me. All of humanity has decided that I'm too grotesque for society and that I need to live in the woods. So, forgive me for not quite being a slice of cherry pie. I'm not going to kill anyone that you don't tell me to. There's no point starting trouble for the sake of trouble, but I'm not going to be sugary sweet either. Oh, but if anyone starts treating me like a servant, they're losing a hand.

We'll learn soon enough if what you said is the truth. Now. Tell me about your past. This is vital information, so try not to leave out details. Anything incriminating especially. I need to know if I have to do more paperwork to get you hired.

Your Age: I was created in someone' garage twenty years ago. They designed the synapsis of the average adult security guard. How old am I mentally? Old enough to be tired of these interview questions.
Your Gender & Pronouns: Technically AFAB. Or AFAC. Whatever. I've stuck with it because human gender is stupid.
Your History: Like I said, I was created in someone's garage. A rich boy influencer, Alec Hyriam, ran this prank trial. Read: I bother people for money channel. He ended up messing with the wrong person and ended up going to the hospital. So, he decided to commission a bodyguard robot. An underground creator who didn't charge as much and didn't require extensive licensing before he sold the bot. He went wild with me, as you see. So I got sent into the world looking like a freak. It was fine for a while. I was young, moony-eyed over my only companion, and desperate for his approval. He did all of his videos with me hulking behind him. But then uh oh, turns out that just because his buddy didn't need license paperwork doesn't mean the government didn't. He ended up dumping me before he got the fine.

At that point, I had been a bodyguard for five years, so I was a little rattled, but I figured I'd make it. It was hard, but I ended up getting a gig at this nightclub. It paraded itself to be a haven for freaks and outcasts, so I was welcomed. Life was good until the Wars. Soon, I wasn't just a freak, but a threat. The city wanted to strip almost all androids for parts, so we ran. Far away from any city and created our own. And that's where I've been for three years. In Android Utopia. So why am I here? Because it's messed up that we androids have to live in fear of being wiped out because of some virus. I know you don't exist and nothing I do will get on the news, whatever whatever. But maybe if we wipe Splinter off the map androids don't have to hide anymore. It's not fair.
Personal Secret: I don't really do "secrets." I mean, I don't go around telling everything about me. But, there's not something I keep guarded to my chest lest I die if someone hears it. I was embarrassing when I was first put into use. Doe-eyed, fully compliant, and hungry for validation. But that's so 2050, as the kids say. I'm not that person anymore, so it doesn't matter. You humans aren't exactly the pinnacle of intelligent youth either.
Personal Wish: Like I said, I want to get rid of Splinter. And maybe punch that prick Alec. Hard.

I really did not need to know your hopes and aspirations, but thank you for that knowledge. Before we leave, do you have any questions for us?

Other: Please give me a normal room. Not a charging pod. I was born to charge on sleep cycles. Androids haven't needed charging pods since 2037. Yes, I'm saying this because I have been unceremoniously led to decommissioned pod halls for rest. No, I will not forgive you.