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Re: This Is Me (Chapter 2)
Hello there I thought I would do the honours. I thought that there were quite a number of spelling errors as I read. I also had a problem with the ...
Jun 22, 2010 -
Re: Glass Wall
Hello there I will just come out and say that I found repeating "Through glass I see" very annoying. It threw everything off a bit. Maybe you could have just ...
Jun 21, 2010 -
Re: Reality in Memory
Hello there I will comment just on your piece. I thought it was just fine. It lacked a lot of emotion and suspense. The storyline is nothing new which is ...
Jun 21, 2010 -
Re: Sabihah's Note part 9 and 10
Hello there I thought I'd do the honours. I'm definitely liking this. Firstly, the title of your book is so sophisticated and eye catching which is why I was drawn ...
Jun 21, 2010 -
Re: The Mask
Hello there I like this poem and the consistent rhyming. I thought that it was nothing different from my point of view but it was greatly written anyhow. I'm not ...
Jun 21, 2010 -
Re: Muder Close To Home (( EDITED! ))
Hello there Thought I'd return the gesture. Well first of all I should say that there is nothing wrong with bragging about your 'achievements', congrats on winning the contests. Now, ...
Jun 21, 2010 -
Re: Prologue: Ace-High
Hello there and welcome to YWS! I will first start off with corrections “As I, and everyone else in this room said before, get the hell out!” Mattox shouted at ...
Jun 20, 2010 -
Re: Separation Sorrow.
Hello there This was not bad at all. My only problem was that I felt it lacked some emotion, just a little bit. But that was it. I liked this ...
Jun 20, 2010 -
Re: Chasing Rainbows: Chapter 1
Hello there LastPaladin Although I could not finish reading through the story, I just had to say I like the way you write. You showed great vocabulary which was precise ...
Jun 20, 2010 -
Re: Dearly Beloved
Hey there Great storyline you've got here, I could see your talent as a writer as I read through the story. I saw no spelling mistakes so that was good. ...
Jun 19, 2010 -
Re: My baby Kronus
Hey there I really loved this you know. It was deep and sad and relatable (I lost my dog too a while ago). I think you managed to display a ...
Jun 19, 2010 -
Re: Howl of an Angel
Hello there Humph, thought provoking; that's all I can say. I liked it a lot. At first though I had absolutely no idea what was going on but after a ...
Jun 18, 2010 -
Re: Tortured Soul Asylum {Act 1, Scene 4}
Hello there I thought I would do the honors. Anyway, I really liked this a lot. I could clearly see your talent as a writer as I read this. Now ...
Jun 17, 2010 -
Re: Ellipsis
Hello there and welcome to YWS! :) There are a lot of spelling and punctuation errors in this piece, but looks like Pritt has taken care of everything so there ...
Jun 17, 2010 -
Re: Love Life
Hello there There was a lot going on in my head as I read this. I even held my throat a couple of times. Good job on this one. I ...
Jun 17, 2010