yombleflobber

So I feel like I'm ripping off numerous storylines here; Resident Evil kinda struck me after I'd gotten a little ways in. However, I should also partly credit Batman: Contagion ...

In the immortal words of my brother: "Shorts shouldn't be so short you can see the pockets."

Banned for being a vampire, you sunless fiend.

Granted, but people discover your scheme and society shuns you. I wish I had a time machine so I could go get me some dinosaur meat.

What defines "good"?

Granted, but they turn out to be the jellyfish version of vampires and SUCK YOU DRY!!! I wish you could stake them through the heart with some lunchmeat.

Is life really just a movie?

Granted, an alternate universe version of you does. You, on the other hand, continue living your life pansyless and sucky. I wish I had gumption.

Which movie?

Granted, now you're just pathetic. (Sorry, it had to be said) I wish I felt more normal.

Is it anything about that movie?

Granted, but a hippie steals it. I wish I had bulging muscles like that bald ufc dude (whatever his name was).

Granted, but it's only summer in a small portion of Alaska. I wish I needed a plot bunny.

Banned for questioning my rule.

Ah, I misunderstood the character shift there. I didn't notice that the characters in the second half were different people. I kinda would've thought Mel might call the police, but ...