yoha_ahoy

I like this! It's short and simple. A very 'cute' poem if I may say so. Nothing negative to say really... great job! ~Yoyo 8)

It worked until you got to the last two lines. They just don't fit it seems. I'd play with this though and see what else you can get fom it. ...

Thank you Fangala! I am most definitely not a rhyming person, so I commend you! Haha. As far as it being a metaphor, I guess it can go either way! ...

azure: I love Twilight!!! I haven't read it in such a long time though! Thanks for the compliment! :D orcashadow: First, thank you for all your compliments. The way he ...

Thank you! Glad it was well recieved. :smt045

Thanks Crysi! I like your suggestion, I'll change that. I'm glad you have some interest in it. :)

The last two lines aren't with the poem. I can understand everyone's indifference to it. Haha! At least you don't hate it. ^_^ As stated in my comments, it makes ...

I loved the imagery you created in this. I could really see it all happening. Great work! ~Yoyo

Hey, thanks guys! I didn't think it would be so successful. I fixed the comma. Don't know how I missed that. Thank you so much though! ^_^ ~Yoyo

care to comment?

Thank you for your suggestions! :D I understand what you're saying about the fourth stanza. And thanks for the compliments. ~Yoyo

Thanks guys! I'm glad the content of the story is okay. I seem to be a better content writer when it comes to the romance genre. Hm, maybe I should ...

anyone care to comment? :(

Thank you. :)

Thanks guys! Well... if you think about it, bland kind of works for this, at least in my mind. I think of grey as boring, uniform, no interest, just kind ...