yamar

eep. ok, ill do my best... I'm thinking about re-titling it... just a little bit: Iron Gate - a Memoir by Col. James Knox.

wow... edit and post at once... I hate when that happens, because then half the time neither of us are right! that is not the case now though... any examples ...

the conversational was intended, because it is supposed to be extracted from his journal; but you are right, it is a bit much... I admit, it needs work... but it ...

ok... kinda weird that I am the only guy posting... But I have always had an eye for art, as my whole family paints and draws, but when I saw ...

ok, I've fixed most of the parts that needed fixing, and if it doesn't make sense now, it probably will become clear within a few chapters. The one major exception ...

WOW!!!! that was intense.... I loved the battle, and the ending was slightly funny... this actually reminds me of a movie I saw with the same story line... a bunch ...

very good idea, thanks! I will incorporate that into the story, and it actually works very well for a part of the book that I have planned. :D Cheers, Yamar

You should pick a langue, because right now you're a mix of upper-class\irish and modern day english. Chose slang or upper class. ofir What I was kind of going for ...

IRON GATE April 29, 5795 Iron Gate, Titan Extracted from the journal of Col. Knox I have been stationed at Iron Gate for six months now, occasionally holding off Seleniun ...

WOW! that was an amazing piece! The rich plot, and intriguing twists and turns, all in a fairly short piece of writing; I loved how much happened to the main ...

This was a very good story, and the plot seemed just thick enough to pull people in, but I do think that having the year and or country that this ...

Hey everyone! first post, and I sure am glad that I found this group!