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Re: Lie To Me~1
Hey, I have many questions for you. First of all, you mentioned Melody was sixteen at the time of the suicide, which made it seem that the death occurred many ...
Jan 7, 2011 -
Re: You died, tonight.
This was very deep in the beginning, but in the end it was highly amusing. Good job.
Jan 1, 2011 -
Re: How to work information into a book?
Maybe introduce this information of who she is in small snippets as they are uncovered in the story. Like maybe she is wearing something that reveals her true identity. Then ...
Dec 26, 2010 -
Re: Snowflakes outside of the Window
I put this in novels by mistake...its only a short story.
Dec 24, 2010 -
Re: Snowflakes outside of the Window
Minnie stood silently by the orphanage window, watching the snow show off as it delicately glided through the air. A snowflake stuck and melted on the window pane before her ...
Dec 24, 2010 -
Re: Untitled
You have this line "...when there was still so much to be done." and then you talk about how "everything had been accomplished," so its kind of confusing but it ...
Dec 24, 2010 -
Re: The Boy Who Kissed My Hand: A Monologue
I really liked this. The emotions were good and intense. Good job!
Dec 24, 2010 -
Re: White Christmas
Hey, I thought this was pretty good. I did not want to stop reading it. I think it would look cute in real life. If you were to expand it ...
Dec 24, 2010 -
Re: Harry Potter, Voldemort and a cookie.
Hahah the cookie idea is hilarious...and i love "voldie"
Dec 24, 2010 -
Re: Once Upon A Midnight Dreary [Edited]
This is very well written, however I wouldn't reccommend using semicolons and colons in some of the spots you used them in. But you introduced the story nicely. I liked ...
Dec 24, 2010 -
Re: The Unicorn (contest entry)
This was very funny and it had a nice flow to it. It was kind of pointless though except for making people laugh.
Dec 23, 2010 -
Re: Teenage Love Story
hey guys..this story was inspired by a one republic song..i'm having a brainfreeze right now and can't remember the title...but yeah
Nov 1, 2010 -
Re: Teenage Love Story
“…They’ve got all the right moves in all the right places…ooh we‘re going down..” Diana’s Ipod, a combined birthday present from her friends at school, whined for attention inside the ...
Nov 1, 2010 -
Re: Gloria's Garden
The garden had wilted. Dried leaves, hanging off browning stems seemed almost forgotten in their misery, as they turned towards Gloria and sighed at her gardener’s gloves, slowly removed from ...
Oct 30, 2010 -
Re: Kafan
This is well written and very suspenseful. However, I'm wondering where you're trying to get at with the "funeral ceremony for Muslims?"
Oct 29, 2010
