xXTheBlackSheepXx

It was a little weird that your main character is so intelligent, and when you have her talk to us, she sounded kind of like a stupid teenager. With the ...

I really like the story you have going here! Alien invasions are always exciting. I like all of your characters, but I think you can do a better job of ...

I like how you said the mom’s hair was all messy and tangled and everything was in disarray. It adds to the atmosphere of the desperate times your characters are ...

I loved it!! The beginning caught me- I really liked the line about how death doesn’t discriminate. The exploding sun was pretty cool, too. I can’t wait to read more!

This was definitely too short for me. How did these people emerge? What are they? How did we get destroyed? It just feels like you started out saying ‘well, our ...

Hey there! I thought this was a great story; too bad you hit a rut! I come across the same problem when I write; I make about 5 chapters and ...

It seemed a little crazy to begin with. It felt like you were saying ‘So, the human race is wiped out… and now here’s a giant troll thing!! RAR!’ and ...

I like it so far. You did leave us hanging at a crucial part, though. How old is Erik now? You said he was robbed of his parents at 8, ...

Good story :) One thing I noticed is that the way your main character described himself seemed a little egotistical. He described himself as ‘having a warm smile and perfectly ...

Nice work! :) And some very scary bandits. I liked all of it, even though I was a bit confused at points. I had trouble trying to figure out whether ...

You have an interesting story here, but you need to work on your writing. You have major information dumps in the first few sentence, giving away lots of opportunities for ...

It was a good read, but I didn’t really know where this story was going. So the kid has a kind of superpower and a gang of cool friends, but ...

It was a lot of fun to read :D you did a really good job of portraying that kind of desperate, street-life kind of attitude. The only thing I was ...

I thought it was very good! Quite suspenseful, I was glued to my computer screen! :D If I could add a few comments… Oh, yet it was anything but.   ...

I thought it was good! It definitely made me want to read more towards the end, and I love mystical things like werewolves J. the only thing that annoyed me ...