wysteria

So it goes! I know that reference! Anyway, welcome. :]

You guys have no idea how weird this is. I was there, and then here, and now you all from over there are coming over here and you all from ...

Neither. It would be Tom Cruise.

Ehh. Throwing the Zak isn't as fun as it sounds. HIGHLY overrated. :D Welcome.

Man. I loved the alliteration. It worked, which was a surprise. "In time, the quaint strings quiver, Calling them to kill. And creeping close they capture all that isn’t still." ...

To be honest, the first stanza is very boring. I think you need something more eye-catching, to get the reader interested. But then it gets better.....and better. The last stanza ...

thank you both. but is there anything you can think to change?

7/10 -I like pictures that are black and white.

there are pinks and purpley-blues beneath your veil of skin cells, small particles of personality, hovering over a great swirling mass of delicacy and genuis. I've tried tricking myself into ...

5/10 I have no clue what it is.

I'ma just say that the ending was amazing. brilliant. as well as the entire beginning.

PERFECTO. I love this. Could I perhaps put this in my signature??? Haha. It's just so beautiful!

In the depths of darkness pulsing, within and yet not apart of; earth, rich and moist... (beautiful! the images are so....so.....good! haha, for lack of a better word. your punctuation ...

Rain, blood, and tears are all cliche images and subjects. I would step away from those. You've got a good idea here, and I think expanding it would do it ...

I agree with every single thing Mad said. There you go, haha. Nothing else to say except what he said. =P