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Re: Dear Young Self
So, there is this trending topic on twitter that is '#dearyoungself'. Quite honestly, I didn't think that one hundred and forty character was enough to tell young me what I ...
Aug 1, 2011 -
Re: The lesser spirit
Alright, so, good beginning. I can see you've worked hard. My main thing is that you tell the readers everything. Show the readers by playing towards their senses. Describe through ...
Jul 31, 2011 -
Re: Went Out of Line and Broke its Spine
Alright, so, good beginning. But, honestly, these lyrics seem sort of posed and missing emotion. Emotion is one key thing in writing lyrics, becuase whoever is listening to the song ...
Jul 31, 2011 -
Re: Two Weeks Notice 2.1
Alright, so, that was amazing. I love how you set up Kate to be this creepy lady, becuase they actually exsist. and then Elizabeth is the perfect angry ex-wife, former ...
Jul 31, 2011 -
Re: Two Weeks Notice 1.3
Alright, so, The chemistry between David and his Mother is too perfect. They honestly seem like the doting mother and rebellious son. I like it. It really shows off the ...
Jul 31, 2011 -
Re: Two Weeks Notice 1.2
Alright, so, Contradictions in a play are tricky things. All of these contradictions you have, however, are pure awesome. I love the dramatic difference between the mother and the landlord ...
Jul 31, 2011 -
Re: Two Weeks Notice 1.1
Alright, so, What a strong beginning. I love reading plays, and I like how you didn't try to rush every single character that is in this play in to the ...
Jul 31, 2011 -
Re: Across The Ocean
Alright, so, This is a good beginning, but i have to admit, it's kind of plain. Give the characters backgrounds, give more to why they are there, at that setting, ...
Jul 14, 2011 -
Re: Glass Bottle
Prompt-Your story is about a linguist in a bottle kissing in dreams. It wasn't windy. It was never windy, but at the same time, never exactly still either. It always ...
Jul 1, 2011 -
Re: Two hearts Apart (Part 2)
Alright, so, you have a good beginning. You just need to watch your grammar and spelling Her parents , especially her mom with her aunt , planned this ‘engrande’ for ...
Jun 26, 2011 -
Re: Change and Survival: The Experiments' Story- Chapter 8
Alright, so, This is good, but, I find the balance of description and dialogue off. In some parts, you have too much dialouge, in others, too much description in others. ...
Jun 26, 2011 -
Re: YWS Screencaps
Confliction! Picture 1.png
Jun 21, 2011 -
Re: Post Your Pic Here [8]
ahah, Dem. That is so amazing. Yeah Me. New Glasses. lunapic_130868667326245_1.jpg
Jun 21, 2011 -
Re: Hearts Like Islands
Alright, so, this is pretty great. You're a really strong writer, and I'm glad I chose to read your work. Off the bat, you have very strong description, which I ...
Jun 5, 2011 -
Re: What are you listening to at the moment? [2]
She's My Winona-Fall Out Boy.
Jun 3, 2011