wonderland

I haven't read the other chapters, but I will, I promise. Anyway, just it this piece it seemed flat and sort of lifeless. Add some emotion. Thats all I have ...

I changed and edited a lot of stuff. Check it out! Emily Peace-19 years old, female INT- New York City Apartment-bedroom [Emily is sitting alone in her bedroom, sitting on ...

How on earth is this a poem? To me is screams song, simple, all rhyme-y, a perfect song for someone with my voice range. anyway, your flow is perfect and ...

Thats a pretty strong poem. The only thing I would do is keep the stanza length the same, or the flow of your poem is ruined and you always want ...

Did you know you have a lot of dialouge? What you need is description and emotion to go with it. You are a fantastic writer, and I can see that. ...

Well, Massive block of text. hard to read. Alright, firstly, always start a new sentence with dialogue Example You had~ If she was still the young kid from my childhood, ...

Sweeper? If this is a prolouge, then its the perfect time to explain without being harassed for 'too much details' and whatnot. And, you should explain, or your reader will ...

Well, I think you';l the be perfect person to come to when I need Shakespeare help. That was the worst excuse for a joke...ever! Hey, I'm WickedWonder, Actress and writer ...

Im terrible with scripts, so I really can't help you there. I'm just going to say that I have read all of Cassandra Clares books, and your plot seems tad ...

ONE Her footsteps were heavy on the stairs. She came crashing into my room, a large doll in her right hand. She stood by my bedside, waiting for me to ...

Alright, so your story is coming along, so I want to touch on something super importan Character Development Your main character seems like a major brat. I say this because ...

This kicks my monologue down the stairs. I'm serious. Yours is that good. your emotion is great, your description is spot on. Oh, I'm jealous. I wish I had skills ...

Your spelling and grammar was good, but the peice was missing something. Then i realized it was your main character. She seems overly perfect, therefore someone a reader can't bond ...

Basically, I wanna see how far I can go with this. Rated for it's content. Sorry for the lenght. She had never even though of romance and love. She didn’t ...

CHAPTER ONE: EXCITING NEWS Dark (14), Elizabeth (15), Ivy (10), and Saxton (9) Having the ages in brackets like that is super distracting. Just say their ages. sat at booth ...