wonderland

YOu have grammar mistakes in there that can be found just re-reading your work. Also, slow it down and add description, emotion, anything and everything to make a story great. ...

So, this is your take on why Booth killed Lincoln? Sorry, I'm Canadian, so, i don't really get it. It made me smile though. it was super happy, which is ...

That was very strong and very sad. Your imagery is beautiful and so intense, it's like I can see into the characters mind, which is very freaky. Your narrator was ...

This was fairly short and simple, which was interesting. You do have some grammar mistakes, that are simple to find if you go back and reread it. Now, emotions? her ...

Short Story? Seriously, format this and you have a really good monologue. I really loved this. It was sort cute, and sort of flighty. I totally know what your MC ...

I hope i'm not too late, but the only thing I'd suggest doing wuld be setting a new paragraph with speech. Thats it Good work, and good like. I'm so ...

And thats how it ends? It was interesting, i'll give you that, but (Maybe I'm missing something because I have no idea what 'Blood Brothers' is) what does the title ...

Did your MC die? I hope not, because I'm reading a lot of pieces where the MC dies lately. There are some unanswered questions I've read, but since you have ...

First off Knives and jewels-nice title second off-I suck at reviewing song lyrics, but i'll give it a shot Your chorus has a bunch of awesome imagery that is super ...

Oh that was depressing. it was in interesting read, though. Are the parts in red her conscience? Or, something different? Because, if I'm right, that that makes it even more ...

That was slightly confusing. I hope it gets easier to read in the next part. Your imagery and description are beautiful in the piece. And, normally, i would go on ...

So, that was sad, but beautifully written. That was like magic cruelly drawing me in. Sort of a wicked wonder. (No pun intended. Sorry, I'm in a writing mood) Sort ...

THat other review was just harsh, alright. I really liked it, found it really interesting. Your taking the whole split personality thing to a whole, new, original and awesome level. ...

My goal will be a nice five reviews (two of which MUST include the word Fahrvergnügen.)

Totally agreed with the first review Please add more commas. There are the natural breaks in your sentences where the reader takes a breath, anyway I can't really say anything ...