wonderland

I contributed to those reviews. THat makes me feel super special. Yay stats!

That was very, very short. That makes it hard for me to give my view on the plot, your MC or, well, anything. Your grammar was good, though, except for ...

Wow. Wow. Thats one showstopper of a piece, so congrats. I really loved the ending. They way you used a bomb, thats pretty unseen, and unusual. THe only thing I'd ...

Alright, so you should probably reread. You have grammatical errors, such as you don't put space in between words or start a new paragraph with speech. Also, your main character ...

I'm gonna go ahead and guess that Emily gets some sort of eating disorder. Why? She should have a lot to deal with, with her mothers death and her depression. ...

That was very interesting. I'm glad you explained that there were only a thousand words, because, if you hadn't I'd would have gone on one of my rants on how ...

Well, okay I'll start with my nitpicks One was older, with long blond hair that was tied back into a low ponytail. His old, wise blue eyes were staring at ...

Check it Out! I edited it! I stared at the ring that was weighing down my left ring finger. I loathed that damn ring; it was the source of all ...

ALright, so, that was definitely a beginning with not much action. It's sort of bland, with you telling us too much. Show the reader what the girl looks like. Showing ...

Okay, so firstly the term tramp is commonly used to refer to a woman, and totally threw me off every time you use it. Other then that, I'm not really ...

10/10 for the VPS WIN of ALL LIFETIMES!

Well, that was good, but I have a small problem There are seconds before lives are shattered. Your beginning. That was a very good opening sentence, but I didn't feel ...

Again, I'm speechless. What confused me is that jet knew hazel's name before she told him. Usually, even with the perspective you're writing from, the narrator would just say her, ...

You have a very interesting writing style. You put a lot of dialogue in, but never enough description. Try slowing down a lot, because you're moving awfully fast, and adding ...

Im not exactly sure what to say. You have potential, and I can see that, you just need to put in more description, but without over-description. Show don't tell, but ...