wonderland

Hey, you're Wicked too. Cool. I'm WickedWonder I'm gonna review. Alright, so firstly, go back, and re read. You've got some grammar mistakes (Such as missing commas). Next- Slow it ...

So, you aced this. You got every emotion and every single description perfect. (And I know a lot about this topic) I love how you kept Katrine's name until the ...

Tell her to quit. She really needs to take a break.

What just happened? It was pretty confusing, I'm not gonna lie. What you need to do is slow down, a lot, and describe the setting, emotion, and everything. Lil: Hey ...

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That was very, very, very good. The way you described it was perfect, it gave me chills in every way. I can tell you have major potential with your writing. ...

Love glee! Love the idea!

Okay, since it's late where I am, I gave your other chapters a quick skim before commenting here. I need to talk to you on your character development Lily Petals? ...

I forget when though.

Awesome.

Oh, that was cute. Well written, and the POV/Perspective you chose to write from (Third person, present tense) is super tough to write from. I really likes your setting, with ...

Hmm. You truly do need more description and more emotion. Be constantly asking yourself the important questions- Who, What, When, Where and Why? (And How) For emotion, thats huge. What ...

I didn't read the first draft, so I'm not sure how you improved. I'll just take it from here. Firstly Near the town of Faith there was beautiful forest. In ...

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That was pretty interesting. So he dies at the end? Right? Although it was interesting, it seemed pretty rushed. Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't pay attention in class (You ...