wonderland

Hmm, okay. Slow beginning. I liked the piece overall, but the begining really detracted from it. Flashes. I gripped my head, mind reeling in pain. More flashes, sudden moments of ...

-Does the dialogue seem realistic to you? ~Not really. Espically at the beginning, when she's talking to her social worker. Just seems fake -Do situations/justifications for things happening seem both

Yes, I am confused. You need to slow down and describe. Add emotion. Make it clear whats going on. YOu want to clearly show the reader an image that they ...

That you were pretty much amazing since you were featured member

For not being crazy

9/10 Nice quote Porphyrophobia???

That was confusing. I know that that is flash fiction, but maybe you could describe whats actually happening, and add some emotion. Right now, it's just some words strung together, ...

Quotes? Quotes are pretty overused. Really, it was just a prologue. I can't really comment on your plot, of characters, yet, because there is nothing to comment on. TO be ...

Name: Mariah Watson Gender: F Age: 17 Appearance: leighton-meester.png Personality: She's fun, light hearted, flirty History: (optionale) Talent: Dancing and singing. Can't act Up for love?: Yes she i

Name: Ansley Peace Age: 16 Appearance: Long red hair, which is curly, and she hates. She's thin, and pale, with huge, chocolate brown eyes. She wears a thick, zip up ...

I have writers block! yes, this happens when I have writers block. What do you think? Terrible? Yeah, me too I clutch the bottle of beer I’m swigging from, curled ...

Hmmm, this is alright. It was good, but not great. Getting there, though. Firstly, you miss commas. Like here "C'mon Zander, help me get some stuff." Comma goes in between ...

610 LOTR. that was funny 1. Hodges-My side of the story 2.These kids Wear Crowns-We all fall down 3. Rent- One song, glory 4. Katey Sagal (YEs. Cate from 8 ...

8/10. I'm probably gonna have to listen to the song.

Lilyana darted from shadow to shadow, concious of who might be watching.. Shadows provided cover, and cover was something that could protect her from them . The humans that would ...