walkertalker

This is a very good story, and has some potential. I'm not sure where you are going with it though. As stated by another person i would recommend breaking it ...

A great opening. I love how it starts right away with a secret. If you keep up with this it could turn into something well written. If you are well ...

I would personally go with brains. Eventually beauty will go away, as previously stated and i tend to have better conversations with a person who knows and has their own ...

All in all i think your poem was alright. It could be better, as said by Katie it would probably help if you broke up your lines differently. It does ...