volleyball13

The only problem is that they seem almost too mean to Jeff. I don't think it would be as harsh and slightly more enjoyable if they were a little nicer, ...

Heehee :D I like it. it would be nice to know how old all of them are. Can't wait for it to be finished.

I like it a lot. It is very suspensful and mysterious, which is great. I think add a few more details and it would be perfect. I would like to ...

"It’s all you can do Just to try to hold on." I think it would run a little smoother if you took out "just" but I think that the rest ...

Don't worry about it, spelling is hard to catch when you read your own writing, because your mind automatically corrects it. :)

I agree with StarryWold, the quotes really help give the story dimension. I'm not in any position to say whether or not it is historically accurate, but it seems about ...

It's got good potential. If you're writing it geared toward teens, then use more known words. Make sure to add lots of details. I would love to read more!!!

Good, there are a few typos; "don'g go changing" should be "don't go changing", and "fame got to your head" should be "fame go to your head". Keep on writing! ...

Good, there are a few typos; "don'g go changing" should be "don't go changing", and "fame got to your head" should be "fame go to your head". Keep on writing!

Thanks! I have redone my first two paragraphs , and now it looks so much better.

Thank you so much. I would like to to try to make it a novel. Do you have any tips for that?

For a contests/for my novel The nightmare was simple, but complex in its own way. It started with Chloe standing in a forest. She thought the forest was familiar but ...

Thanks so much.

Bravo! Very thorough profiling. I think, since he is so rude, that he should be very sarcastic as well.

Wow! You are an amazing writer. I would happily read more.