ultraviolet

Okay, so I'm going to be blunt. A lot of this was info dumping. Mind you, it was actually pretty interesting, but info dumping nonetheless. First off, Mr. Sinclair way ...

Okay, so I have a couple things about this. One, I was confused about how she was seeing this. You said it like she was watching/was her mom, but it ...

Okay, so my main thing with this is, it doesn't really seem to match up with the chapter before it. I get the time difference is there, but 1, I'd ...

Hi! Here to review as requested. :D A warm light illuminated the office, stemming both from the gently smoldering fireplace and the tinted electrical light above. As the first line ...

Hey there! “Come on, man, you have got to go with her.” This confused me. At first it sounded like he was convincing him to go out with Laurie, but ...

Hey there! Okay, so first off, this is kinda short, at least compared to your other chapters, which are pretty long. I think you could easily fill this in with ...

Back again. :) Sorry it's taken so long. Okay, this is going to sound really pathetic, but I have barely anything to critique about this. Just a few things that ...

Hey. Okay, so the pacing is a little better here - could be fleshed out more, but it's not a big issue. What I do find a big issue is ...

Okay, I just want to say, when I first read this, I was really confused. The ending of that last chapter - her initial reaction after being swept away - ...

Hey there! Sorry for taking so long. Okay, so my main point here will be character development. I like the part where Greg washes the blood away. Not only is ...

Hey there, me again. :) Okay, so description wise, this is definitely your best so far. You also, for the most part, described the actions with detail, which helps us ...

Hey Pointe! Okay, so like I've said, your chapters are getting better. The pacing was a lot better in this one, which, although the other aspects I've pointed out haven't ...

Hi there, Pointe! So, I'm going to touch subjects already brought up (description and emotion). First of all, you have a lot of great settings here - the castle, the ...

Hey there! So my first point is about her injury - and her recovery. You say she was out for a week - which is a really long time - ...

Hey! Normally I'd go into things like pacing, character development, setting, description, etc. but you do a really good job with those things here. So I'll go a little more ...