ultraviolet

Hey there, me again. :) Okay, so description wise, this is definitely your best so far. You also, for the most part, described the actions with detail, which helps us ...

Hey Pointe! Okay, so like I've said, your chapters are getting better. The pacing was a lot better in this one, which, although the other aspects I've pointed out haven't ...

Hi there, Pointe! So, I'm going to touch subjects already brought up (description and emotion). First of all, you have a lot of great settings here - the castle, the ...

Hey there! So my first point is about her injury - and her recovery. You say she was out for a week - which is a really long time - ...

Thanks for the request! I'll take a look at it tonight or tomorrow. And sorry to anyone if I take a while getting to all of your chapters. I try ...

Hey! Normally I'd go into things like pacing, character development, setting, description, etc. but you do a really good job with those things here. So I'll go a little more ...

Hey! Here to review again. Jordan disappeared, running like the wind as usual. It was incredible that the rubber soles of her shoes hadn’t been completely worn away. My friends ...

Hi! “Hi Mimi,” “How was school?” “Where did you go afterwards?” This is a good example of your dialogue, which in and of itself is pretty good. But also close ...

Hey! Here to review as requested. We were two tornadoes on the same path spinning two opposite directions, and there wouldn't be any easy way out of this. No matter ...

For reminding me of my friend's boyfriend, whom she sometimes calls "Mr. Mustard" as a superhero name.

Hey! So, this is a little better. There's still quite a bit of talking, which is fine. I'd just suggest making Jackie a little more emotional about it, whether angry ...

Rascalover, both of yours are done. Tomorrow, I'm going to try to do at least one review for the rest of you, more if I can. loveness, ultraviolet

Hi! Here's the review you actually asked for. :) She held the fifth pregnancy test in her trembling hands. Okay, we understand they want a child, and think that maybe ...

Hi! I know you requested a review on the second chapter, but my own odd self feels weird if I don't review the first chapter as well. Your new home ...

Done, 322sivart! If you post more chapter, send me a link and I'll check it out also. :) loveness, ultraviolet