tzmanda

Thanks to Huggybear123 and CastlesInTheSky for your critiques. Very helpful as always. I'll have to think about this "show" as opposed to "tell" advice before I can make the nessicary ...

The beginning: Dear reader, before we part on this adventure together, I would like to state a few facts that are true of all the events to follow. Fact number ...

To someone I long to forget, It’s quiet now that you’re gone. I longed for this silence, Yearned for it. Now I wish it would go away. Every empty moment ...

Sorry guys!!! I'll review chapter 1 and 2 and see what I can do.

Please critique. I know its really long but I would really like responces! :D :D :D :D :D

REMOVED

With your story, it should be really interesting but it just doesn't grip the reader as much as it should. I found your sentences too short and .....hmm.........simple. When I ...

Chapter 2 Unwillingly Azzia was pulled from the deep slumber that had held her tired brain, and for the few seconds that followed, she tried helplessly to regain it. “Azzia,” ...

I loved it!!! :D :D :D :D :D I was so absorbed in the story that I didn't notice any errors!! More, please!! :wink:

A poem that puts graffitti into the best light. Well thats new (for me any way!!) I liked it. It was a bit repetitve and slow to get into. But ...

The shadows in the corner of the room are coming nearer, They are coming closer and closer each day, Spreading slowly out from that dark corner of my mind, where ...

Well, I enjoyed it and was able to read it to the end without my mind drifting, which is good. There are some minor grammatical errors, I found that there ...

Chapter 1 Away from home The girl sitting on top of the boulders name was Mika. Her legs were bent upwards, with both arms holding them tightly near her, so ...

Well, I personally have nothing against fantasy thieves and I found yours quite interesting. I kept wondering through out the story, though, who had magical abilities and who didn't. (if ...

Okay, Well I guess I'll start by saying that I really enjoyed it. I would have to agree with some of the other reviews that the explainatins are sometimes just ...