tommyknocker
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I really hope this is a better effort than my previous try. :smt002 I watch. I wait. I plot. I am patient. I am the hunter. I like to portray ...
Sep 29, 2011
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I watch. I wait. I plot. I am patient. I am the hunter. I like to portray myself as a highly skilled hunter. Like a tiger in a forest, shadowing ...
Sep 29, 2011
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Hey there! I had the same assignment to do a couple of years ago. Bored to me death it did! Haha. Okay, this a nice piece of writing and I ...
Sep 29, 2011
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Hey. In your spoiler you say that it's short-short story. I've just commented on a much shorter story than yours! Anyhow, I feel this story does not go deep enough. ...
Sep 29, 2011
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Hi there! Short but sweet piece you have here. But in future don't write stories of this length ALL the time. So anyway, I agree with both comments above. But ...
Sep 29, 2011
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Hi there! Welcome to YWS. I hope you enjoy it! But on to the story at hand. I agree with sargsauce. It ain't a story really, but just the author ...
Sep 27, 2011
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Hi there! Okay, straight into my first impression. "Why end it here." I thought to myself after reading the last sentence. I assume I'm incorrect in saying, To me, It ...
Sep 27, 2011
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Hi there! I must say I particularly enjoyed this piece! I really like the way how you wove the story around a tree with the narrator. Great job there as ...
Sep 27, 2011
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Hi there! I enjoyed this, to a degree. I think this piece is in much need for some descriptive text. In such a short story, it wouldn't be too difficult ...
Sep 21, 2011
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Straight off, I agree with Jennya. It's fairly good, but it ain't brilliant. It has a good plot, so I commend you for that. But what it's lacking is a ...
Sep 21, 2011
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Hi there! You have posted this in the "Historical Fiction" section. The story is obviously about love. I'm trying to get my mind around the basis of this being historical? ...
Sep 21, 2011
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Hi there! First off I must say that this story made me smile. Particularly the part about the koalas being energetic, I just couldn't get that thought out of mind. ...
Sep 20, 2011
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Hey. A short piece with dialogue is fine if done correctly. This has been done quite well. If but a bit cliche as Crescent has pointed it out. But there ...
Sep 20, 2011
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Allen Paige never meant to lie when he said that he would only be away for ten minutes. He never meant to be dishonest when he hugged his two little ...
Sep 20, 2011
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Hey there! For starters, your opening 5 words: "The sky was black as night...." To me this puzzled me and I had to stop immediately and begin writing...What I'm writing ...
Sep 20, 2011