-
Re: The Theory of Parallelism - Chapter 1 [Edit 1]
Hellooo, LoveStrykes! The beginning to this seems kinda fuzzy to me. The paragraph itself is a little large, and especially for something that is essentially the very start of a ...
Jul 2, 2011 -
Re: Penguins!
Hi, boss :D I'm here as requested *tips hat* I think, at the moment, this reads in a kinda stilted manner. You start off introducing us to the scene, which ...
Jun 26, 2011 -
Re: Trees
Hi, dasiamri! I think you've got a really sweet little idea here, a ribbon on a tree to remember someone. Because this is so short there isn't a great deal ...
Jun 26, 2011 -
Re: Yours
Hi, BlueAfrica! :D I think you've got a good balance with the descriptions here, and some of your imagery is nothing short of wonderful. What I will say though, is ...
Jun 26, 2011 -
Re: Charlie
Hi, Mike! I actually quite like this, there's something about it that says so much without really saying a great deal at all. It's a very interesting little piece that ...
Jun 26, 2011 -
Re: All the Perfect Colors (1)
Hi, Isha! :D I think this story is pretty interesting, and you've certainly got me wanting to read more of it. A few nitpicks to get out of the way ...
Jun 26, 2011 -
Re: Problematic: Part 1
Hi Roxywriter! A few little nitpicks first, She looked back at us, eyes as big as golf balls. This seems like a little bit of a weird description, golf balls ...
Jun 25, 2011 -
Re: There is still tomorrow
Hi, Yuriiko :D I'm here as requested *tips hat* Some more nitpicky points, to begin with? Well, I reckon my Mama was six times heavier than me. She has been ...
Jun 11, 2011 -
Re: Anxiety Consumes the Soul
Hi, Micki! :D The bow made a small noise as it snapped forward after I released my fingers. This seems to be the wrong order to describe things, it's like ...
May 31, 2011 -
Re: Last Moments
Hi, Elinor :D Some nitpicks to start off with: I'm able to find Thomas, wearing jean shorts and that white t-shirt he wears every other day. You've got some repetition ...
May 31, 2011 -
Re: Pimp? Ha, no.
Hi, fixie :D Personally I found this a little hard to read because I didn't really know what some of the words that you were using were supposed to mean. ...
May 31, 2011 -
Re: They Were Both There
Hi, Sassykat :D I should probably start of by saying that I'm not religious so I can't really comment on that side of things. I think because you're drawing this ...
May 31, 2011 -
Re: Krain'raam Ziikra
Hi C3B :D This is pretty short, and as it is there isn't a lot to say because there isn't a great deal happening. I think you've got an interesting ...
May 31, 2011 -
Re: The Devil's Pocket Watch (2.2)
Hi :D They met eyes for a second, looking at each other from across the dark room. Then the lady bit down on the cloth in her mouth and tugged ...
May 30, 2011 -
Re: The Devil's Pocket Watch (2.1)
Hi :D again :D I have the time so I figured I may as well catch up and get myself up to speed! “What is this?” she croaked, looking at ...
May 30, 2011
