theotherone

Hello there. :) I'll begin with nitpicks and then go on with my overall impression on your story. Juliet’s sister-in-law comma, Rella comma, giggles at this practice, because Charming is ...

Hello there. :) To begin with, I'll point out a few nitpicks and then I'll move on with my overall impression on your story. She was in your summer clothes, ...

Hello there. :) “Hungry?” He sounded annoyingly upbeat again. “Because it’s Sunday afternoon and like every other Sunday afternoon, the band is downstairs chatting about music and stuff.” 'T

Hello there. :) Have you left yet? My bikes got a flat and I need a lift x Yay one more sign... :) Is that a kiss or a hug. ...

Hello there. :) I'll begin with nitpicks and then go on with my overall impression on your story. Saint Lebanon United was known for its grades, yet a lot of ...

Hello there. :) I'll begin with nitpicks and then go on with my overall impression on your story. I’m not even sure if I ever wanted her , and I ...

Hello there. :) Shit, was that a cop? I think this should be in italics because this is a direct thought. The cop stops behind me and I pull down ...

Hello there. :) “This wasn’t for Aiden comma, was it?” We won our last game comma, five to nothing. I personaly think it's a shame that Aiden didn't insist on ...

Hello there. :) You asked me a while ago to review this... And I'm sorry it took so long to finally do, but my life is a mess right now, ...

Hello there. :) A bag of grapes laid untouched in my lunch box and I gave the cookies in my hand a serious look. No kiddin! I wish I had ...

Hello there. :) Architecture, Music, and Cooking were Him’s Previous jobs. The use of Him is really weird here. It took me a while to realize what you were trying ...

Hello there. :) It was never cloudy when they were next to each other. It might have got rainy or a little bit cold but never grey. She always loved ...

Hello there. :) Whatever he said, she looked over her shoulder to see me there. This sentence doesn't quiet make sense. Maybe try: She didn't hear whatever he had said, ...

Hello there. :) I'm here again for another review! When he saw me looking comma, he glanced away again but I couldn’t ignore the expectant smile on his face. “The ...

Hey there Anna! So, I'm finally here... Sorry for all of the delay, just got my wisdom teeth pulled out, and well... I wasn't in the mood. :) “I didn’t ...