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Re: The Tree People (Working Title) Chapter 1
Hello, I'm thealmightypencil and I'm going to review your first chapter. I'm going to tell you up front that I do have criticism, but I truly believe that your story ...
Fri Jul 03, 2015 3:18 am -
Re: sweltering.
Hello! I really enjoyed your poem! It is humorous and well written. I think the phrase "tony destructive hands" is equally adorable and a terrifying. I also love the phrase ...
Tue Jun 23, 2015 4:02 am -
Re: Teaser: Untitled Novel: Chapter Something or Other
Hello there! Number one, I loved this story, and I will discuss why I adore it at the end of my review. First, I will start with nit picks and ...
Tue Jun 23, 2015 3:42 am -
Re: Fatigue and love
Hello there! I thought this poem is powerful because it is simple. I really felt the frustration, disappointment, and nearly flippant tone of the speaker. The last five lines are ...
Sun Jun 21, 2015 4:52 am -
Re: The Thief, The Assasin
Okay, let's get the nitpicks and edits out of the way first! There are a few, but don't worry because I really liked your piece! I hope my comments can ...
Sun Sep 07, 2014 2:20 am -
Re: Lone Tree
Hello! I'm thealmighty pencil, and I thought I would leave you a review. First off, your concept is super cool. A lot of people write about death, and a lot ...
Mon Sep 01, 2014 3:46 am -
Re: Broken
Hello, I'm thealmightypencil, and I'm just leaving a review here. Let's start with the good. I enjoyed your story very much. I found it very poetic and moving. I think ...
Sat Aug 30, 2014 4:52 pm -
Re: The Story of Monoceros
This is such a sweet, little story! I think it would be a wonderful story book with pictures and whatnot. You already have a lot of the elements of a ...
Sun Aug 17, 2014 3:05 am -
Re: The awkward one
This is so simple, but carries so much weight! I like how you build the "Just don't look back." I thought it created good suspense. Another line I really liked ...
Sun Aug 17, 2014 2:49 am -
Re: Ariel
This piece is a little disorienting and confusing, but I can your character is intoxicated. If that confusion was what you were going for, then good job. I like this ...
Sun Aug 17, 2014 2:40 am -
Re: Clown girl
Hi there! So first off, I really did like your story. You are right, you don't ever see clown girls! You're style conveys the narrator's emotions and thoughts really well. ...
Sat Aug 16, 2014 3:58 am -
Re: Just Smile
The emotion of the narrator really comes through your writing. It is like you're only reading one half of the story and it leaves a lot to be filled in ...
Thu Aug 14, 2014 3:03 am -
Re: The Girl In The Clearing
Wow, your writing has very stunning imagery. The contrast in the first paragraph sets up your purgatory comparison well. One suggestion, break up that first sentence. It's a beautiful one, ...
Thu Aug 14, 2014 2:45 am -
Re: Masterpiece
Your work is very descriptive and you created some beautiful images in this piece. My favorite was "the playful diamond glimmer in his eyes dulls to a look of tarnished ...
Thu Aug 14, 2014 12:40 am
