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Re: Need a review? Click here!
Hey Ash, I think you might've done a review or two for me already- and I feel greedy asking for more! Anytime you need a thourough review though, you can ...
Dec 31, 2008 -
Re: The Moon
High above he sails the sky, A starry waste he passes by. An opalescent globe, wrapped in an argent robe; The Sun behind his tail, he's ever on the fly. ...
Aug 23, 2008 -
Re: Where Are You?
Hello! Welcome to YWS, sorry it's late. It's a great community here, I hope you enjoy yourself. Your piece was lovely. I loved your hook and it kept me wanting ...
Aug 21, 2008 -
Re: Nolan Simmons
Thanks so much for the help. I tweaked it a bit and we'll see if anyone else has any opinions :P
Aug 20, 2008 -
Re: Enough
Hello Grant! I see you are a new member. Welcome to YWS. You have an idea here, (obviously) but you need to give us more as readers. We are craving ...
Aug 17, 2008 -
Re: untitled poem
To be honest, the ending of this poem seemed to harsh for the way it began. A gun comes into the picture rather randomly. If you meant this to strike ...
Aug 17, 2008 -
Re: How We're Spending Friday Night...
This could be a good piece but as I agree with the above review, I have no clue who "they" are. Your idea of "they" switches on and off. The ...
Aug 17, 2008 -
Re: What's Your Favorite Summer Olympics Sport?
I like soccer. *geek lol aha only because my love ♥ is a little greek soccer player than they started the olympics after all :P
Aug 16, 2008 -
Re: Nolan Simmons
I really need some feedback aha I'm not that good at short stories =( Unfortunately
Aug 12, 2008 -
Re: Nolan Simmons
I think his name was Nolan, but I'm not sure. It was decades ago when such things were plainly ignored. But what from the mind fades, in the heart stays. ...
Aug 10, 2008 -
Re: Someone cold as you
Drip! Drop! Drip drop! [clever hook] It's raining I thought to myself [thoughts are usually put in quotations but maybe you ignored this purposely? But I've also seen it without ...
Aug 8, 2008 -
Re: The Night the Water Came
This was pretty good. Some colorful use of words, good imagery at times. Usually my reviews are quite detailed but that's only when I have some very serious opinions to ...
Aug 8, 2008 -
Re: David's Poem
Here is David's poem. Please let me know what you think and some constructive criticism is good for you =] David's Poem David's Poem I don't know why You chose ...
Jul 31, 2008 -
Re: To My Love
May this only be pretend, our use for each other as reflective muses. First stanza, I think you should have more of a better what's called a "hook" here. The ...
Jul 30, 2008 -
Re: Inside Us
How do you see Into me? You know what I'm thinking at all times Memorize my rhymes, Are with me in the hardest times. You see through my petty lies ...
Jul 28, 2008
