sweetcapris

Ooooh, I like it. One thing to consider though-- because the repetition of "bottle, bottle" is so strong and rhythmic, maybe consider making the rest of each stanza just as ...

I agree. Some very elegant words here; they construct the tone of the poem and compliment its topic very nicely. I hate to be a stickler, and I know a ...

I actually liked the vagueness of this poem. It gives it a lot of sincerity. I could really see it in the bit about the radio and a laugh turning ...

Rain Down Raindrops danced on a quiet breeze, capturing glimpses of the moonlight; they soared down, down, down– streaks across the sky. Each exploded on the dirt, scattering the silvery ...

I personally loved the ending. I thought the sentiment got stronger as the poem progressed. You've also used some very effective repetition, which is good! The only part that I ...

Well I'll have to disagree with the previous critique. I think you successfully shed new light on a maybe-fairly-worn-down topic. Your sincerity and complete trust in future love had me ...

Oh wow, thank you guys for the great compliments; they have me grinning madly :] This, by the way, was my attempt to write something in Pantoum form (no, no, ...

Well, like everyone has suggested so far, I think this poem is adorable and creative and overall a really lovely story. I think what would really make it better though, ...

Wow, this is really great! I love the not-overbearing intimacy you've weaved though out this piece. I love love love the line about his lips continuing their assault, that was ...

I have to agree with the reviews already given. While the emotion is undoubtedly clear within the poem, it seems at times to just be a string of ideas... for ...

Hey everyone from YWS! My name's Cassie, or sweetcapris, and I just stumbled across this lovely place yesterday. Just thought I'd extend a hello and let you all know that ...

This is beautiful writing! It is so fluid, so elegant, and so soft. But just when I was really into this melted vat of elegant language, the line--- "the clarinet ...

It’s 3 a.m. and a spell is cast. The book flips open to a sacred past. The verses lift themselves in perfect grace; Revealing the meanings behind each face. A ...

Tonight I lassoed a shooting star and up it took me really quite far it pulled me through the glittering sky where magic swirls and dreams can fly where spirits ...

oh, yeah. That's better :]