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Re: Moonlight Romance (part 2)
"beneath by bedroom window. As I reached the ground and I looked around to make sure that no one was around watching me sneak out of my bedroon." instead you ...
Aug 11, 2008 -
Re: Moonlight Romance
"It was an amazing shutter than ran up and down my spine." You should instead write.."It was an amazing shutter of happiness that ran up and down my spine." otherwise ...
Aug 11, 2008 -
Re: Kate Has 8 Lives. Chapter 2.
A small glimmer of tears rimmed Kate’s eyes as the bright lights of the hospital jerked out the calmness of the dark it once was in. that sentence was really ...
Aug 10, 2008 -
Re: Kate Has 8 Lives.
“Not if we just take it.” if you said instead "We could just take it." that would make more sense in that sentence. Amato was Kate's friend since 4th grade. ...
Aug 10, 2008 -
Re: Who Would've Thought? 3
it’s kind of late to be asking, my buddy Tom was supposed to come its like a run on sentence, you should make it...i know its kind of late to ...
Aug 6, 2008 -
Re: The Island Lovers
James imagined they where screaming... it should be "they were screaming" “GO AWAY WE DON’T WANT YOU HERE"... for that you should take off the caps and put an exclamation ...
Aug 6, 2008
