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summersmilesxoxo

  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Moonlight Romance (part 2)

    "beneath by bedroom window. As I reached the ground and I looked around to make sure that no one was around watching me sneak out of my bedroon." instead you ...

    Aug 11, 2008
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Moonlight Romance

    "It was an amazing shutter than ran up and down my spine." You should instead write.."It was an amazing shutter of happiness that ran up and down my spine." otherwise ...

    Aug 11, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: Kate Has 8 Lives. Chapter 2.

    A small glimmer of tears rimmed Kate’s eyes as the bright lights of the hospital jerked out the calmness of the dark it once was in. that sentence was really ...

    Aug 10, 2008
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Kate Has 8 Lives.

    “Not if we just take it.” if you said instead "We could just take it." that would make more sense in that sentence. Amato was Kate's friend since 4th grade. ...

    Aug 10, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Who Would've Thought? 3

    it’s kind of late to be asking, my buddy Tom was supposed to come its like a run on sentence, you should make it...i know its kind of late to ...

    Aug 6, 2008
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: The Island Lovers

    James imagined they where screaming... it should be "they were screaming" “GO AWAY WE DON’T WANT YOU HERE"... for that you should take off the caps and put an exclamation ...

    Aug 6, 2008


Knowing too much of your future is never a good thing.
— Rick Riordan, The Lightning Thief