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Re: Walker
Wowza, that was a long review... and it sounds like you've got some serious literary merit thing going on, which would be super helpful and awesome if this was a ...
Oct 9, 2010 -
Re: Big Brother
Thanks for the reviews guys :D I'll see if I can't redo it without rhyme and add a little more punctuation in there
Oct 9, 2010 -
Re: Walker
Aware of the weather A rise, yesterday But this morning is cold And cold it will stay Over my pathway In mid December A new sheet of ice That I ...
Oct 4, 2010 -
Re: A Brief Confession
Grammar first :) It should be "Or the heavens ever deny the soul THEY save?" or you could do "Or heaven ever deny the soul it saves?" "Saphire" and "whishing" ...
Oct 4, 2010 -
Re: Imagination
I like the idea, but I think the actual statement could use a little rewording. I feel so lame for nitpicking at a one-liner -_-
Oct 4, 2010 -
Re: Missing Italian Sands
We’d gone swimming in the waters until our skin mimicked raisins This was my absolute favorite :D I could be reading it wrong in my head, but something seems a ...
Oct 4, 2010 -
Re: Mirror Girl
"My dear," Hell said, "come closer now," the virgin girl complied. He stained her skin like bloody rags in his lustful devil-eyes. First of all, that's just plain genius. AMAZING ...
Oct 3, 2010 -
Re: Beautiful Human
There are a few things I want to nitpick at... First of all, the third stanza is the only one that doesn't rhyme. You could have it rhyme or avoid ...
Oct 3, 2010 -
Re: Big Brother
I don't get very far Before running at the car I think I'm faster in this summer sun. My brother too, joins the race My head start versus his faster ...
Oct 3, 2010
