starrynight89

Oh, you left us hanging buddy! I loved it! The only thing I'd consider doing is splitting up the paragraphs (as mentioned before) and maybe extending it just a little ...

I like it. It's short and sweet. Gives some insight into the main character. Since it is first person, I would've liked more insight into her head, you know? It ...

Ah, though it's been mentioned numerous times already, I'd just like to point out once again that it just too short. As a critic, I need more to work with ...

Though it was mentioned already, I'd just like to retierate the fact that your story is going too fast. But, don't worry about that because, when I wrote my first ...