sparkle8744

Chapter Two “Good morning, Sir. Is there anything I can help you with?” I said the next morning in the shop. John and I were still on our usual no ...

This is very good! I would only do a couple of things diffrent. Describe maybe how she got pregnant, very briefly of course, and also maybe describe how the baby ...

This is SO creative and amazing! I could never have thought of this idea. It's also one of my favorite songs! The way you add some of the lyrics in ...

It looks like people got all of the grammatical mistakes, so I wont repeat them. I loved this story because it has twists and throughly explains the life of a ...

Sun Kissed By: sparkle8744 Night had fallen and the stars gleamed in the sky above. Torches that were lit with fire lit up the courtyard and I was thankful, for ...

This is a very good story, but I think you need to add more to the story than dialogue. The story line is fantastic, but you need to let the ...

I loved this story! It's amazing so far. There are several grammer mistakes, but it seems like every one else pretty much covered them, so I won't bore you. This ...

Chapter Three Gradually over the week Sophie regained her strength or at least the strength she already had, which was close to nothing. I don’t think she could break a ...

This is very good. The description really hooked me to the story. The way you wrote made it sound beautiful. The ending is the most powerful part of the story, ...

This is a good start to a story. I like the way you used description to make it more vivid in the readers mind. That's really important. Also the way ...

Hello there! This is a really good start to a story. Will seems very handsome and intellegint. I would say to be a bit more descriptive. Maybe talk about how ...

Chapter 2 I got through the window and winced in pain. The blood had dripped coldly and slowly down my leg and into my tennis shoe and sock. “Violet! What ...

Chapter One I guess at the time, I didn’t know any better. I guess I didn’t quite know how to be thankful like I know people should be. I know ...

This story is very good! I'm dying to read more!! Please PM me when there's more out! Thanks, Sparkle

Chapter One I guess at the time, I didn’t know any better. I guess I didn’t quite know how to be thankful like I know people should be. I know ...