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Re: May the World Burn, Chapter Three
Hey Misfit! I'm SodapopLunchbox with a review for you. I have not read your previous two chapters, so I cannot provide solid plot advice. If anything I say was revealed ...
Dec 18, 2011 -
Re: Magic
Hello LovelyDisaster! I'm SodapopLunchbox and I'm here to review your work! I can see the scene you are trying to capture here, which is good, but I think you can ...
Dec 17, 2011 -
Re: Purple (1)
Hello Carlito! I'm SodapopLunchbox (: I'm going to go straight into reviewing, but I just want to let you know that I think you have a good idea here but ...
Nov 19, 2011 -
Re: The Hardest Goodbye (Chapter Three)
Hello WriteWriter! I'm SodapopLunchbox (: I have not read your other chapters, so if I mention something I was confused on that was written within the last two, just disregard ...
Nov 1, 2011 -
Re: Ladybug Golashes
Hey Persephoneia! What a wonderful poem you have here! It's very childlike and comforting, I wish my mother let me play outside in the rain with my golashes! But that's ...
Aug 15, 2010 -
Re: The Moon's Jealous Revenge
Hey Litehawk! This was an amazing poem! I really don't have anything to point out that the other reviewers haven't already. The idea behind this poem was well thought out, ...
Aug 13, 2010 -
Re: The Art Murderers (chapter 2, draft)
Hey romance otaku! Another well written installment of The Art Murderers! This chapter was different, but I wish you focused on the Murders a bit more. Maybe you should give ...
Aug 12, 2010 -
Re: Prologue
Hey ChibiBear, Welcome to YWS! I think this prologue is interesting, however, I've seen this type of prologue before. Not saying that you can't use it, but I'm just giving ...
Aug 11, 2010 -
Re: The Bittersweet Life
Hey KasanKokoro! You have a decent story here, but it needs some work. I noticed that you switched tenses quite often, a good piece of work should only be written ...
Aug 3, 2010 -
Re: Teenage Love Chapter One
Hey hockeyfan87! Welcome to YWS! I'm SodapopLunchbox and I'm here to review your work. You can write, but I think you could make this piece better. It lacks emotion and ...
Jul 29, 2010 -
Re: You just can't look away.
Hey LiveScreamWriting, (awesome name btw) I think you have a good start here, but you should elaborate more. If you used the beginning of this to start off a love ...
Jul 27, 2010 -
Re: Party Like A Zombie
Hey Sionarama! This made me laugh in a good way! You some fun back into poetry. The only critique I have to give is about one of your stanzas. but ...
Jul 26, 2010 -
Re: The Story, The Song, and The Picture (chapter two)
Hey darkangel_05! I saw your signature and I thought it was hilarious that you asked if people wanted a review and then gave a link to your story. This is ...
Jul 26, 2010 -
Re: Peanut Butter
Hey Drawers! I hear you on this east coast heat, gosh that's why I'm inside reviewing! Nice story you have here (: It's cute, but I have a few things ...
Jul 26, 2010 -
Re: The Diary Of Jane Chapter 3
Hey kitrosemon13! I love the song reference in the title, it's truly an powerful song (: and same with the Forever The Sickest Kids reference in the text, they are ...
Jul 26, 2010
