sodapop

In the second stanza, I believe that the child's "scream" is confusing, and the stanza would flow better if you exchanged that word with "laugh" or something simillar. In the ...

It's a nice story. The only real problem you have is the word "the." You use it too much. For example, the first sentence:"Rain poured down intensely from the grey, ...

"[ANNA stands up and accidently kicks a picture. Picks it up and sees that it is a picture of Jon. Talks to the picture.]" i don't know how you can ...

"Some professional brain surgeon makes this gadget and with it, will you let you know everything there is to know about the brain and its states." the middle part of ...

HI! okay. this is my first time ever reviewing anything, but I'll try. i'm reviewing this as i read and i'm reviewing it as if i had written it myself, ...